


Only She Knows

by JadeMoon



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Arguing, Dancing Steve Rogers, Day Off, Don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone, Falling In Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt Steve Rogers, Kiss Kiss Fall in Love, Lies, Love, Love at First Sight, Lust, Nurses & Nursing, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Questions, Slow Dancing, Workplace Relationship, being a dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23564239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeMoon/pseuds/JadeMoon
Summary: She fell through into Steve’s world via lighting and a portal. Strange brought her to SHIELD, his wounds brought Steve to her. Is she what she claims or is Rhodey correct in his assertions that she’s more than what she’s telling them.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just something to kill the time while stuck in quarantine and because I’m not able to concentrate on my other WIPs right now (sorry)

Steve had seen her around the medical wing on the rare occasions he was there. She has a bright smile to contrast her dark eyes and long lashes. She had made quite an impression on Clint who seemed to enjoy joking wiht her. Natasha didn’t seem overly worried about her. But Rhodey...oh boy. If ever someone was as outspoken about another human being it was Rhodey. Steve would have expected this from Tony but Tony regarded her with smug flirtations and idle threats about firing her. To the opposite end of the Rhodey spectrum was Bruce who was so elated that this girl had such a strong working knowledge of the medical field “for someone so young.”

“Right. That doesn’t seem suspicious? That she’s so young but she has all this experience?” Rhodey would demand. 

“Why does it matter? Maybe she’s one of those truly smart people. Like you,” Clint had remarked. 

“Or she’a a plant. What do we know about this girl other than what Dr. Strange told Fury?” Rhodey continued to demand. And around and around they would go. 

Steve eventually learned her name is Chase, the same day he overheard Bruce talking to her in the hall by the medical wing. 

“I just can’t...it’s absurd this whole story--”

“It’s not a story,” Chase snapped. “How the hell do you think I feel? Imagine the shock I had when I came to and saw this.” She motions down the length of her body.

“Most people would sell their soul to have what you do, Chase. The whole ‘ _if I knew then what I know now_ ’ thing.” Steve can tell Bruce is trying to joke around with her. 

“Bruce...I didn’t wish for this. I didn’t wish to get dropped into your world with forty-two years of knowledge in a twenty-something body. Nor did I ask to have my goddamn uterus back--”

Bruce coughs out a laugh.

“I’m glad you’re amused. I hope your next life you come back as a woman,” Chase growls. 

“It’s just hard to believe, Chase.”

“You’ve seen the proof -- my driver’s license, my nursing license, credit cards...I’m sorry I don’t carry a copy of my birth certificate around with me at all times.” Her words are dripping with cynicism. 

“Chase.”

“I didn’t ask for this, Bruce. Nor did I ask to be hounded by Colonel Rhodes at every step. I’m a prisoner in a SHIELD base. Fury has me under constant surveillance. I’m not allowed to leave the building. I didn’t ask to come here. I didn’t wish to be young again. I just want to go home,” she says sadly. Steve’s heart aches for her. He feels her pain, knows what it’s like to be out of your element and totally alone. 

“Chase, I know this has been hard, but maybe this is supposed to be your home--”

“It isn’t,” she cuts in. “None of this is home. It’s a prison.”

Steve makes up his mind to go see Fury and find out what he can about Chase. 

* * *

  
  


“Captain Rogers.” 

Fury watches Steve walk into his office, his demeanor never changing. 

“What’s the story with the nurse? Chase?” Steve asks. 

“Right to the thick of it. Alright,” Fury says as he leans back in his chair. “She’s from out of town, but I’m sure you heard that story already.”

“Is that why Rhodey wants to put a bullet between her eyes?” Steve asks crassly. Fury sits up and clasps his hands in front of him on the desk. 

“Colonel Rhodes has expressed his concerns. Repeatedly.”

“Who is she?” Steve demands. Fury cocks his eyebrow at him. He seems to be considering his next words.

“She crashed into Stephen Strange’s mansion almost three months ago. He says that a portal opened, there was a blinding flash from a lightning bolt, and then there she was, unconscious on his floor. Supposedly she flipped shit when she came to and saw him. He subdued her and brought her to us.”

Steve knows there’s more.

“What else?” he asks. Fury gives him a slightly amused look. 

“What else do you think you need to know?” Fury returns fire.

“She’s how old? Claiming to be forty-two?” 

Fury’s lips twitch. 

“Captain Rogers, what she claims is still being looked into--”

“Is it true?” 

“I don’t know,” Fury answers honestly. “She presented what looks like an authentic driver’s license and nurses license with her DOB clearly printed on both--”

“Which says what?”

“July 7, 1977. Lucky number 7 for our visitor. Her working knowledge of the medical field--according to Bruce -- is that of someone who has been in the nursing field for at least a decade or two. She’s quick, she’s calm, she’s collected...much like a seasoned RN should be.”

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Steve says, feeling exasperated. “She came through a portal--”

“We don’t know from where. We don’t know how. She could be a plant. She could be a double agent. She could be any number of things. Precautions have been taken to ensure we know her every move just in case she’s more than she claims to be.”

* * *

Steve has been trying to find a way to talk to Chase, to judge for himself if she’s a threat or not. Every time he’s tried he’s gotten waylaid by one thing or another. 

Now he’s headed to medical with Clint and the young lady Wanda. He’s sore, he’s tired, he hurts. All he wants is to go back to the floor that houses his apartment, take a hot shower, and go to sleep. Instead he’s being ushered into a private room without so much as a ‘ _how the hell are you_?’. 

The last thing he was expecting was for Chase to walk through the door.

“Captain Rogers?” Her voice is soft and sweet with a hint of what Steve thinks is a southern drawl. 

“Present.” He shakes his head at the answer he’s given her. Chase just smiles.

“My name is Chase. I’ll be the nurse assisting Doctor Banner today. Will that be alright?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Just Chase is fine, Captain Rogers.”

“Steve.”

She smiles a little more and walks over to the wall. He never fails to be impressed at the holographic imagery that pops up. Tony’s tech savvy has overrun this building with every kind of computer access but none of it real. 

“I need you to strip down, Cap--Steve. Doctor Banner will want to make sure there’s no hidden injuries on you. You can keep your shorts on if you’d like. There’s a gown behind you on the bed. Open in the back, please. When you’re done or if you need help, just tap on the door, I’ll be right outside, okay?” He hears what sounds like concern in her voice. Does he look that bad, he wonders?

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Chase.”

“Chase,” he repeats. She smiles easily at him and steps out of the room. He grabs the gown, grunts and strips down to his boxers. It takes him longer than expected because his muscles are starting to tense and knot. He hobbles to the door and taps lightly on it. 

“Decent?” she calls to him.

“Debatable,” he replies. He hears a small chuckle and the door slowly opens. She peeks inside and smiles again. He grins a little and limps back to the exam chair. She comes in and immediately puts gloves on. 

“Safety first,” she says jokingly and flexes her now purple clad hands. He laughs a little. She puts a cuff around his bicep and pulls the stethoscope from around her neck. She takes his blood pressure and calls the number out. The electronic wall records the number just like every other time he’s ever been in here. It still amazes him. She puts the little thing on his finger when she’s done and then tilts her head. 

“I can tell you’re hurting, Steve, so...do you want to tell me where the pain is or…?” Again with the smile, this time a little more playful. He nods his head.

“Fair enough,” he laughs. “Ribs, back, shoulders, legs...feet.”

She nods her head and looks at the wall. His list is being populated. 

“Any pain in your head or neck?” She’s already checking around his scalp line for anything, her touch is gentle as she examines him. 

“No...not much.”

This earns him a curious look. 

“All over or is it one place in particular?” Again he can hear the worry in her voice. He rubs the back of his neck to indicate that’s where the pain is. She lifts his chin a little and tilts his head just a bit looking at him at different angles. 

“Big battle?” she asks as she continues to look him over, working her way to the back of his neck, her hands palpating him lightly, checking for any internal damage she might be able to feel. It’s honestly going to put him to sleep.

“Yeah,” he mutters. “Stark made a robot.”

“That’s what he does, though.”

“I don’t think making it an evil sentient being was on his agenda,” Steve jokes. He sees her bristle, but it’s over as quick as it started. He furrows his brow at her, wondering what would have caused that reaction. She smiles warmly and peels the gown back from his shoulders. 

“Evil sentient being that’s a robot. Not a good day in the field. Is Tony grounded for trying to play god?” 

Steve looks at her and blinks. The smirk on her face says she’s joking.

“If Pepper is smart she’ll lock him in his room.”

This makes her laugh lightly. 

“And throw away the key.”

Now he laughs. She continues to talk to him and before he realizes it she’s finished and pulling off the purple latex gloves. This has to be the fastest nurse examination he’s ever had. 

“Let me go get Doctor Banner. I don’t think anything’s broke but he’ll be the final say.”

“And in your professional opinion?” Steve asks. She’s helping him pull the gown back over his shoulders, again being incredibly gentle with him.

“Ah ah ah,” she chides him with a grin, “I’m not the doctor. You’ll have to ask him.”

“Hmmm.”

“But…I’d start with a hot shower. Unless he tells you otherwise.” She winks at him and exits the room. 

Steve’s almost certain she’s not a threat. Almost. 

* * *

It’s been a few days since Steve got back from the fight with Ultron. He’s been thinking about Chase since he saw her in medical. She’s sweet. He likes the drawl and that tiny bit of twang in her voice. He really likes how she kept him engaged the entire time she was checking him over, talking to him about different things to keep him distracted and yet still able to throw in questions about his pain level, what hurt where, etc. 

He rubs his shoulders while he waits for the elevator to take him down to the medical wing. He’s going to talk to her, one on one.

Except that didn’t happen. Half way down he was alerted to another priority mission. He hits the back of his head against the elevator walls in exasperation. All he wants to do is hear what she has to say and it’s like mission impossible. 

* * *

Another week gone. He’s on his way to medical as per protocol and Steve’s only thought is that while Chase is giving him a look he can ask her questions, talk to her, feel her touch…

“This way, Captain Rogers.”

He’s led to a different room where he waits. There’s a knock on the door and Steve is suddenly giddy. 

But it’s Maggie who sticks her head inside. The disappointment he felt must have been written all over his face. 

“Not who you wanted to see, Steve?” Maggie asks. 

“Sorry, Maggie,” he says softly. She shrugs. 

“It’s alright, son. Tell me who you were looking for and when we’re done I’ll go get them. You know, before I tell the doctor to come in here and torture you.” 

Steve chuckles a bit and shakes his head.

“Is Chase here?”

“Ah. I see. You prefer the snarky young lady over the seasoned old broad….”

“Maggie,” Steve whines. She just laughs at him.

“She’s off today. Confined to her quarters. Poor kid.”

And that’s the last thing Steve registers hearing while in medical. He heads back to his apartment and takes a long, hot shower. 

* * *

It’s late or early, Steve can’t tell by looking out the window. He must have fallen asleep after his shower. He grabs his watch and looks at the time. 

“Five PM,” he mutters out loud. Not as late as he thought. 

He sits up and rubs his face briskly trying to wipe away any sleep residue that may be left. He grabs fresh clothes, gets changed, and heads down toward the smaller quarters on a lower floor. He wants to see Chase. 

He steps off the elevator and as he’s walking down the hall he hears music playing. The closer he gets the louder it becomes. Music he hasn’t heard in ages. The unmistakable sound of Lena Horn floats down the hall as if leading him. 

He finds the source of the sound, one of the quarters has its door wide open letting the music drift out. He slows his pace and quietly looks inside. What he sees brings a huge smile to his face.

Chase is inside slow dancing by herself to the music. 

Steve walks in, watching Chase sway and swish slowly. Just as she spins around he steps in front of her, taking her hands in one swift motion and begins to slow dance with her. She’s shocked based on the look on her face but she never stops moving.

“Captain Rogers…”

“Steve.”

“Steve...what are you doing?”

“Dancing. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen anyone dance to this type of music.” 

Chase’s lips part as if she’s about to say something but she just smiles.

“You’re a few floors off if you’re looking for medical, Steve.”

There’s playfulness in her tone. Steve grins. 

“I know. I came to see you.”

This makes her falter a little, she loses her rhythm with him and he slows down to let her find it again. She studies him as they dance, brown eyes darker than he’s ever seen them. There’s a slight rosy flush on her cheeks. 

“Steve…”

He pulls her a little closer so he can put his hand on the small of her back. The song changes, something else from his bygone era, another slow song. She slides a hand up to his shoulder and he laces their fingers together with his other hand. 

“I never had a chance to dance to these,” he admits thinking back on all the times he wished he had a girl to dance with. He thinks about how Bucky would snag a girl for him every time they went out. His heart drops. Bucky…

“What’s stopped you?”

Her soft voice brings his focus back to her. She’s studying him again, but her brown eyes are softer now, there’s more warmth there than before. 

“Lot’s of things. Up until today I didn’t think I’d find anyone to dance to these with.”

She smiles, blushing fully now, and she drops her eyes. 

“Why were you dancing alone?” he asks. She lifts her eyes. 

“Like you, I didn’t have anyone to dance with.”

“Why these songs?”

He’s barely aware that another song has started, only that the two of them are moving in tandem with each other. 

“Why not?” Her eyes sparkle when she answers, a hint of amusement behind her words. Steve laughs lightly. 

“There’s an allure there,” she says after a moment. “Something warm and inviting.”

“Like you?” Steve asks. Before Chase can answer Steve leans in and kisses her. Her lips are soft and sweet and she yields to him the way no woman has done before. He lets her go and sees the dreamy look in her eyes. He kisses her again, his tongue parting her lips. 

“Steve…” She sounds breathless and god does he want to kiss her again, but when he goes to she puts her hand on his chest to hold him back.

“Chase?”

“Why are you here? Really?” She’s not looking at him, her hands are planted firmly on his chest, keeping him from getting any closer to her. 

“To see you.”

“Yes, but why?”

“I want to know who you are.”

That wasn’t the answer he should have given.

She huffs out a cold laugh and drops her hands. When she looks up at him all the warmth is gone from her eyes.

“Did Colonel Rhodes send you? Seduce me and see if I give you an answer different from everyone else?”

“No. No, Chase, that’s...that’s not - -“

She shakes her head in disbelief and takes a few steps back from him. 

“You should go, Captain Rogers. I don’t have anything more to offer you than I did Director Fury, Agent Hill, or Colonel Rhodes.”

“Chase, wait - -“

“Please. Just go. And tell Colonel Rhodes to stop sending people to do his dirty work.”

She turns her back on him and disappears down the narrow hall towards the back of her quarters. 

Steve’s head is swimming, his heart is pounding, his balls are aching, and he has no goddamn clue what the fuck just happened. All he can do is leave.

* * *

“How are you feeling, Steve?” 

Steve opens his eyes and squints at the bright light in the room. He doesn’t recognize where he is immediately.

“Easy, Steve, easy.” Natasha’s voice, a cool hand on his brow. “You’re safe. Let me go get the doctor.”

“Where…” his throat is so dry he can’t speak. 

“The hospital. Headquarters was destroyed. Your assailant pulled you from the river - -“

Steve forces himself to sit straight up. 

“Bucky? Where...where is he?” He rasps. 

“Who the hell is Bucky?” Rhodey asks. “Calm down, Steve,” he says trying to force Steve to lie back down. 

“Bucky…”

Rhodey shakes his head. 

“You were a target. And that damn nurse knew it.”

The room spins around Steve making him feel sick. 

“What?”

“She knew. She knew about you. All about you. Knows about the Howling Commandos. Knows things no one else should know about things that are top secret. She’s a damn spy - -“

“No” Steve nearly begs. 

“She is. This could have been stopped. Should have been stopped. HYDRA is so far into SHIELD right now...there is no more SHIELD right now.”

The look on Rhodey’s face is all Steve needs to see to know this isn’t a joke. 

“Did she say anything to you? Ever?” Rhodey asks. Steve shakes his head no. 

“Where is she?”

“Stark Tower with Maria Hill.”

* * *

It’s been almost a month since Steve was hospitalized after the beating he took. From Bucky. His lifelong friend. The brother he never had. The man he thought he had let die because Steve couldn’t reach him to save him. He thought Buck had been dead all this time...and now he finds out he’s alive, having escaped the area and Chase knew about it. Chase _knew_. 

By the time the elevator gets to the apartments in Stark Tower Steve is seeing red. He pounds on her door so hard it shakes in its frame.

“Chase!” He bellows. 

“It’s open.” He falters for a moment, the sadness in her voice making him pause. But only for a moment. He throws open the door and when she sees him Chase begins to back away. 

“You lied,” he snarls. She blinks at him like he’s speaking in tongues.

“Wha - -“

“Don’t play dumb!” He yells. She flinches when he takes another step towards her. 

“Steve…”

“You knew. Didn’t you?”

Her mouth moves but nothing comes out. 

“DIDN’T YOU!”

“Steve...I’m so sorry!” She cries out, tears streaming down her face. “I’m so sorry!”

Steve slams his fists down on the granite counter so hard it shatters. Chase jumps back.

“You could have saved him! You could have helped me find him! What have you done!!” Steve yells. Chase is clearly frightened of him. When he takes another step towards her she backs up even more. He can see she’s shaking.

“What if I had told you?” She yells. “What if I had told you what would happen and it didn’t play out like that?”

“WHERE IS HE?!” Steve roars. Chase cries harder. She’s hysterical and can’t talk. This isn’t what Steve wanted. He can’t stand to see her like this. He knocks over the end table on his way out. Something shatters but he doesn’t bother to turn around to see what it was. 

“Steve! Please!”

He doesn’t stop. Just slams the door behind him. He can hear his heartbeat in his ears, he’s so pissed and he needs to walk away.

* * *

Steve is laying waste to the heavyweight bags in the nearby gym. He’s already knocked the sand out of three and he’s working on his fourth. Natasha has come to see him and made an effort to calm him down. He ignored her. He ignored Rhodes and Sam and Wanda. 

Now it’s Hill’s turn. He can hear Hill's footsteps behind him and he hits the bag so hard it splits in two, adding to the sand all over the floor. 

“Captain Rogers.”

Steve glances over his shoulder just enough for Hill to see she’s being acknowledged, albeit barely. He hangs up another bag and sweeps the sand pile over with the side of his foot. 

“I understand you’re frustrated.”

Steve laughs icily. 

“But understand this, even if she told you what she knew, what guarantee would we have that the times and places would have been the same? What if she had told you and you’d taken the team and he wasn’t there…”

“She lied to me,” Steve growls through clenched teeth. 

“She was trying to protect you - -“

Steve punches the bag so hard the chain snaps sending the bag flying against the wall where it explodes on impact. 

“From what?!” Steve snaps, whirling on Maria. Maria doesn’t flinch from him like Chase did.

“From getting hurt. From hurting others. From yourself. She stayed by your side in the hospital until you woke up. She defied direct orders to be transferred to Stark Tower because of you. She did what she thought was right, Captain Rogers, what she thought would be the best outcome. She was trying to protect you.”

“Why not just tell the truth?” Steve asks. “Why not just tell me…”

“She was afraid,” Hill says walking away. “Whether that be of you or the outcome only she knows.”

* * *

He couldn’t stop it. He tried. He had tried so hard, but in the end Tony wouldn’t see it his way. And the fact that Steve knew that it was Bucky who had murdered Tony’s parents...the irony was not lost on Steve. But he had to save Bucky. He had to. 

Now he’s in Wakanda watching as a technician tends to Bucky’s wounds. 

“Your friend and my father were both victims, Captain Rogers. I want to help him and help you.”

“Thank you. For everything,” Steve says humbly. 

“Go see him.”

Steve walks into the room where Bucky sits on an exam table. His left arm is missing just below his shoulder. Tony had blasted it off and Shuri had removed the damaged remains of the cybernetic arm. 

“Hey, Buck.”

Bucky smiles warily. 

“You’ll be safe here,” Steve tells him. He doesn’t know what else to say or what to do.

Bucky nods his head. 

“I think...I think it’s best for me to go back in. I can’t trust my own mind, Steve.”

Steve’s heart breaks. The admission was painful not only for Steve to hear but for Bucky to say. Steve can only nod his head. He hurts so badly right now. They lead Bucky to a cryochamber and Steve watches as Bucky closes his eyes and the window inside frosts over. 

“Where will you go?” T’Challa asks.

“I don’t know. I...don’t know,” Steve answers. And that scares him right now. That scares the hell out of him. He wishes he could call Chase and at least see if she’s okay. But he can’t bring himself to do it.

* * *

Steve strolls into the control room alongside Natasha and followed by Wanda and Vision. 

“Earth just lost her best defender,” he says firmly to the holographic image that was berating Rhodey just a moment before, “so we’re here to fight. And if you get in our way, we’ll fight you, too.”

The argument doesn’t last and the holograph closes. Rhodey takes a deep breath and starts filling Steve in on what the current situation is. Steve tells Rhodey what they’ve encountered and the decision is made to get Vision to Wakanda to try and keep the gem from Thanos.

As the others are prepping the jet Steve pulls Rhodey aside.

“Where is Chase? Is she here?”

Rhodey freezes. 

“No. I sent her to a different SHIELD base to be detained. I didn’t know...Steve, I’m sorry. Fury and Hill were the only ones who knew what she did and they chose to keep it quiet. With good reason. I made a mistake - -“

“Is she safe where she is, Rhodey?” Steve cuts in. “Is she safe from what’s going on?”

“About the same as the rest of us, Steve. I didn’t know - -“

“We need to leave,” Steve says walking away. 

He meets Natasha and the others in the hangar. Rhodey joins them shortly thereafter. 

The entire flight Steve tries to focus but he can’t. His thoughts keep going back to Bucky and Chase. 

* * *

Steve falls to the ground next to the pile of ash that was a moment ago Bucky. 

“Oh god,” he groans as he watches dust swirl around him. He couldn’t stop Thanos. He couldn’t stop him from getting the last stone. He couldn’t stop him from eliminating half the universe. He failed. He failed them all.

He looks over at the pile of ash that was Bucky and his stomach knots. Chase. He has to know if she’s okay. 

“Steve? STEVE!” 

“NAT!” 

Natasha runs to him and hugs him tightly. 

“The others…” she begins but she doesn’t finish. She can only shake her head.

“I know,” he says weakly. “I know.”

* * *

It’s been five years since Thanos snapped half the universe away. Five long years of Steve telling his support group to try and move on. Trying to convince others to move on. But not the remaining Avengers. Not Rhodey, not Natasha...and certainly not himself. 

He opens the pocket watch that has the picture of Peggy inside. It’s a hollow distraction at best. He misses Bucky and Chase. He blames himself for not stopping Thanos. He was there when Bucky was turned to ash. That was hard enough. But when Rhodey told him Chase was dusted along with more than half the staff at the SHIELD installation she was being held at…

“How do you know for certain?” Steve has questioned. Rhodey had closed his eyes and shook his head.

“You sure you want to see this, Cap?” he had asked Steve. Steve had just given Rhodey a look and that was all Rhodey needed. He entered something into the computer and a display showing surveillance of Chase began to play. Steve could see she was frantic, pacing around the cell she was being held in. That pissed him off when he saw that. He glared at Rhodey who could only look away in shame. He looked back at the screen and could see Chase was screaming, banging her hands on the bars as what Steve has come to recognize as human ash begins to swirl around her. She stops suddenly and steps back from the bars, looking at her right hand as it begins to disintegrate. She looks at the camera one last time before she vanishes completely. 

Steve places his hands on the counter in front of him and tries to calm himself. The last time he lost control...he’s never forgiven himself for scaring Chase the way he did. 

Scott had found them. Tony came back from the far reaches of space along with one Captain Carol Danvers and an alien named Nebula. Then Scott dropped what is probably the single most insane idea on them to reverse what Thanos has done. Go back in time. 

And Tony figured out a way to do it. Go back, get the stones, undo what Thanos did. 

“It’s time.” 

* * *

“It worked! It worked!” Clint is yelling. Steve watches as Rhodey picks up the phone.

“I want her out and I want her flown her pronto. Do I make myself clear?” Rhodey orders. “Now.” 

Steve is about to say something when all hell breaks loose. Explosions go off everywhere. The team is scattered. 

It’s Thanos. And he’s raining chaos down on their heads to get to the stones. 

The fight is intense and they’re barely holding their own.

“Cap?”

Steve recognizes the voice immediately. 

“On your left.”

Suddenly the fight isn’t as one-sided as before. The struggle is to keep the stones and Tony’s gauntlet out of Thanos’ reach.

“Avengers...assemble,” Steve growls into the comms. 

The battle of keep away from Thanos is going downhill. He’s getting closer and closer. They can’t afford to lose again. 

“Patch her through! Patch her through!” Steve hears Rhodey barking through the comms. Then he hears Chase’s voice.

“Get to Tony! Get to Tony! He has the gauntlet! Get your hands on him. Get your hands on him before he does the snap!” she screams. 

Steve looks across the battlefield and sees Tony does in fact have the gauntlet. How could she have…

“GET TO TONY!” Steve roars as he races across the body strewn field. “EVERYONE ON TONY! NOW!”

* * *

Steve is watching the memorial float for all those they lost in the battle go down the river. They had decided to do it at Tony’s home on the lake. He looks down at the pocket watch and swallows. 

“Still plan on doing this?” 

Steve jumps a little at the sound of Bucky’s voice. 

“Yeah,” he says snapping the pocket watch closed again. “Yeah.”

Bucky just nods his head. Steve forces himself to smile and the two head to find Bruce. 

Sam is waiting with Bruce to send Steve back with the stones. Bruce is talking about all the things that need to be done in what order, but Steve is only half listening. He’s thinking he won’t come back. He’ll use the last of the particles to go to Peggy and live the life he should have lived. 

He gets on the platform and sees Bucky and Sam watching him. Sam nods reluctantly to him. The look on Bucky’s face nearly breaks Steve’s heart. 

“Ready, Steve?” 

Steve looks over at Banner and nods. When he turns his head back to face Bucky and Sam his heart shatters.

Chase is standing next to Bucky. The same sadness in her eyes that’s in Bucky’s. Chase and Bucky look at each other briefly and before Steve can say anything he’s barreling through the Quantum Realm.

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Steve comes back feeling winded and rushed. Bucky looks beyond shocked to see him.

“Steve?” 

“Hey, Buck,” Steve says, stepping off the platform. Bucky looks absolutely stunned to see him. 

“Steve?”

Steve grins a little and looks around. Chase isn’t there anymore. At least not immediately visible. 

“Welcome back,” Bruce says merrily. “Get everything back okay?”

“I did. Buck, it’s okay,” Steve says putting his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky’s blue eyes well with tears. Steve walks him away from the others so they can have some privacy. 

“It’s alright,” Steve begins to say.

“I thought you weren’t coming back,” Bucky says hoarsely. “I thought you were going after Peggy.”

“I changed my mind. Her life is her own, not mine. And leaving you behind...I couldn’t do it, pal.”

The tears stream down Bucky’s face and he hangs his head. Steve puts his arms around him and hugs him tightly. 

“I thought you were leaving me behind.” Bucky’s voice is low and shaky and it kills Steve to see him like this. 

“It was a shit idea, Buck. Till the end of the line. Remember?”

Bucky pushes out of Steve’s embrace and hastily wipes his eyes on his sleeve. 

“Yeah. I remember,” he says with a small smile. “Till the end of the line.”

“We aren’t there yet, man. Got a long ways to go,” Steve says and gives Bucky a smirk. 

“Fucking punk,” Bucky mutters, but he’s smiling and Steve can see he’s relieved. 

“Let me get out of this jumpsuit,” Steve says heading towards Tony’s house.

“I’ll wait out here.”

“Buck…”

Bucky shakes his head no, a firm declaration of how close he’s willing to get to anything Stark related. Steve can’t blame him, Tony damn near killed Bucky, and Bucky would have killed Tony if Tony had hurt Steve.

Steve comes out a few minutes later and Bucky is sitting on the porch. Bucky’s head is tilted just so and he’s watching something...or someone.

“Who was the dame?” Bucky asks suddenly.

“What dame?” Steve asks, sitting next to him. Bucky points and just beyond where Sam is talking with Clint and his family to Wanda and...Chase.

“Don’t move. I’ll be right back,” Steve orders as he jumps up and rushes off the porch. He thought she’d left or Rhodey had her removed or god only knows…

“Excuse me, Wanda,” Chase says as soon as Steve is right next to them. 

“No, Chase, wait,” Steve says quickly. “Wanda, can we have a moment? Please?”

Wanda looks from Steve to Chase and back again, sighs, and gives Steve a warning look before walking away. 

“Chase- -“

“I didn’t come here to fight, Captain Rogers. I’m here to pay my respects. That’s it.” Her voice is like ice and it makes Steve’s blood run cold. 

“I just…”

“Here you are. Thanks for finding her, Cap. Mind if I borrow our out of town nurse? Thanks.” 

Steve doesn’t get a chance to protest as Tony puts his arm around Chase’s shoulders and leads her away. All Steve wanted to do was say he was sorry.

=================================================================

“You never did answer my question.”

Steve looks up wearily at Bucky and rubs his eyes.

“What question, Buck?”

Bucky furrows his brow as he continues to dig through the duffle bag containing what few belongings he now has. 

“Who was the dame you went chasing after?” He asks without looking up. 

“What are you missing?” Steve asks, changing the topic. Bucky raises his head and looks at Steve patiently. 

“I asked my question first.”

“I didn’t realize we were back in grade school,” Steve retorts. Bucky flips him off and doesn’t say anything else. Steve sighs heavily.

“Her name is Chase. She’s a nurse — _was_ — a nurse at SHIELD headquarters. A good one. She can take your mind off of what’s going on just by talking to you. And she listens to Lena Horn and Duke Ellington and dances to their songs. She’s got the most beautiful smile and when she talks...Buck, she’s got the softest southern drawl and it’s just…”

Bucky is smiling at Steve like Steve’s an idiot savant.

“What?” Steve demands.

“Somebody’s in love,” Bucky muses, the smile turning into a shit eating grin. Steve rolls his eyes. 

“I’m not in love. I just...I saw a chance to kiss her and I wanted to so I did,” Steve argues. Bucky skews an eyebrow at him. 

“Not in love,” Bucky repeats. Steve groans.

“She’s different. She’s out of her element, Buck.”

“She’s a super soldier? Got frozen and displaced in time?” Bucky continues. Steve can clearly hear the skepticism in Bucky’s tone.

“No, Buck...she’s…” he trails off, unsure of where to begin.

“Steve. _Who is she_?”

Steve takes a deep breath and tells Bucky everything he knows, which honestly isn’t very much.

Bucky sits and listens, a thoughtful expression on his face until Steve starts to tell the part about him losing control with Chase and scaring her senseless, then his expression changes to one of shock.

“Steve...you scared the hell out of her!”

“Don’t you think I’m aware of that, Buck? Don’t you think I’ve had to live with that shame and guilt everyday?”

Bucky is silent for a moment. 

“She could have told you. I can see why you were so pissed, but Jesus Christ, Steve, I’ve never seen you as pissed as what you’ve just described. Never.”

Steve hangs his head.

“I lost control. Hill said she did it -- kept the information from me -- to protect me.”

“How the hell did Hill know?” Bucky asks. Steve looks over at Bucky.

“What?”

“You said Hill told you this girl kept quiet to protect you. How did Hill know?”

“Rhodey knew.”

“How’d Rhodey find out?”

Steve had never thought about the line of questions Bucky is presenting.

“Steve, you told me when you were dancing with her that after she accused you of trying to get more info from her for Rhodey, but she already told Fury, Hill, _and_ Rhodey all she knew.”

Steve’s jaw drops.

“They all knew. It wasn’t just her. They all knew.”

“And Chase claimed that she was afraid things wouldn’t work out time wise the way she thought they would, so she kept that from you and told the others.”

“Which is how we found you,” Steve mumbles. “She was who led us to you after the explosion.”

“She could have saved the King,” Bucky starts to say, but then he shakes his head no like he’s changing his mind.

“Buck?”

“If they had intervened and stopped Zemo from killing the King...you’d have never found me.”

=================================================================  
  


The following morning Steve sits at the table staring at his cup of coffee. He didn’t sleep at all last night, too torn up over his actions and how he missed so many obvious things with Chase. He knows she’s still mad or scared or…

“What if she hates me, Buck?”

Bucky looks up groggily from his own cup of coffee and blinks tiredly. Steve wasn’t the only one who slept for shit last night it seems. 

“Who? The dame?” Bucky asks.

“Chase.”

“What if she does, Steve? You won’t know unless you try and talk to her.”

Bucky makes it sound so simple and straightforward. Steve wishes it could be.

“What time do I have to be presented to Fury?” Bucky mumbles. Steve looks at his watch.

“An hour. May as well get cleaned up.”

They head out a short time later, both men rubbing their eyes trying to stay awake.

“Did she say anything to you? That day when I took the stones back?” Steve asks. Bucky shakes his head.

“We just looked at each other and watched you go. She walked away after that. Never said a word to me.”

Steve sighs and they finish the drive in silence.

Upon arrival Steve takes Bucky to meet with Fury. Fury points to the door, Bucky nods his head, and Steve takes that as his cue to leave.

Once in the hall he sees Maria Hill and he stops her.

“Where is the nurse? Chase?” he demands.

“Per Director Fury’s orders she’s been stationed here. Doctor Banner is trying to persuade her to join the nursing team in medical.”

“She’s here?” Steve is beyond elated to hear this. Hill inhales sharply and Steve knows something isn’t right.

“Captain Rogers, she’s asked to be left alone,” Hill says gently. “She doesn’t want to see anyone. Not even you.”

The elation melts from his face.

“Why?”

“I think you know,” Hill answers in the same gentle tone. Steve takes that as a direct hit to his heart. 

Steve walks away. He wanders down halls aimlessly until he winds up in medical where he literally runs into Bruce.

“Sorry, Bruce. Didn’t see you,” Steve mumbles. Bruce looks down at himself and then gives Steve a bemused look. 

“Really?” Bruce asks with only minimal sarcasm. Steve just shakes his head. 

“What’s wrong?” Bruce asks, putting a humongous hand on Steve’s shoulder. Steve laughs weakly. 

“Chase I suppose,” he answers without thinking. He looks up at Bruce and sighs. 

“She’s upset, too, Steve. About...about everything.”

“You know what happened?” Steve asks like a guilty child. 

“I’ve heard a little. She’s not forthcoming with anything that has to do with you or Barnes. All I know is she wants nothing to do with anything here. She honestly believed that when Tony used the stones in the snap that she would be sent back to her own world. That didn’t happen and it exacerbated her depression and loneliness. I’ve been trying to convince her to come back to work, to help her out of this...this pit of despair she’s found herself in. She refuses.” Bruce doesn’t mask the sadness in his voice. 

“This is my fault,” Steve says under his breath. 

“Only part. You can’t take the blame for everything she’s going through. The rest has nothing to do with you or any of us. She wants to go home, Steve. She feels out of place here. I’m sure you know what that’s like.”

=================================================================  
  


It’s been almost six months since the team undid what Thanos had done. Things are very slowly getting back to normal. 

Bucky is staying with Steve and Steve is grateful beyond measure for that. The two of them having PTSD issues and the like, they help each other as best they can. 

Steve still thinks about Chase. Every time he comes back from a mission he silently prays he’ll see Chase, but he never does. Bucky hasn’t seen her either. But he knows Bruce convinced her to go back to work in medical. Clint has seen her. So have Wanda and Sam. Chase has kept to her word that she doesn’t want to see Steve or Bucky apparently. 

=================================================================

Steve is packing his gear, preparing to go on another mission. Bucky isn’t there having been called out on a different mission almost three weeks ago. Steve has missed the shithead immensely. 

He hears the door open and close just as he’s coming down the hall.

“Buck?”

“Yeah.” The misery in Bucky’s voice makes Steve run to the living room.

“Christ, Buck! What happened?” Steve asks. He grabs Bucky by the arm and holds the man in place to keep him from walking away. Bucky doesn’t make eye contact, just shakes his head dismally. Steve can see Bucky’s been roughed up -- not just physically but mentally as well.

“Buck--”

Steve’s phone goes off reminding him that he’s due at base now. Like right now, now.

“I’ll be alright, kid,” Bucky says, finally looking up and forcing a smile. Steve’s not buying it. What’s worse is he knows he can’t be here for Buck to help him through the aftermath of the mission. 

Steve’s phone goes off again, a final warning before someone comes and drags him away. Bucky is about to say something but Steve cuts him off. 

“Listen to me. Chase is at the tower. If it gets that bad go to her. She knows what you’ve been through. She’ll help you.”

“Steve--”

“Promise me you’ll go if it gets bad, James.”

Steve sees Bucky bristle at the use of his proper name. Bucky nods his head slowly. Steve hugs him tightly.

“Go see her.” Then Steve rushes from the apartment. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Chase is mindlessly flipping channels in her cell/apartment. She’s bored, she’s lonely, she’s...upset. She was certain that when Tony did the snap she would get transported back home. 

Home.

Chase sighs deeply and flips the remote around in her hands. Home. She has a feeling this is home now. That she’ll never see her old home again. Bruce keeps insisting she has to make the most of it, that she can’t wallow in this pit of despair any more. But that’s all she has left is her despair and misery. 

“Miss Darkwell, Sergeant Barnes would like to know if he may come see you.”

The disembodied voice of the AI scares Chase so badly she drops the remote. 

“Miss Darkwell?”

“FRIDAY?”

“Sergeant Barnes--”

“Why?” Chase asks. She’s beyond stupefied that Bucky would just show up here and ask to see her.

“I did not ask. Would you like me to?”

“No! No. Jesus. He probably won’t answer anyway. Is he okay?”

“His heart rate is elevated and he appears to be nervous.”

An image displays in the room of Bucky in the lobby pacing, head down, his hands stuffed into his pockets. 

Chase isn’t sure why he’s looking for her, but she knows something is wrong. The question is does she turn him away or does she try to help him?

“Miss Darkwell?”

She sees Bucky looking up at the camera. He looks totally wrecked. 

“Let him come up, FRIDAY.”

“Yes, Miss Darkwell.” 

The image disappears. 

Chase begins to pace nervously. What’s going on with Bucky? Why come to her? She knows --  _ knows _ \-- Steve would have told him about her. Did Steve send him? Why does Bucky look so rough?

It isn’t long before there’s a soft knock at her door. Chase’s heart is beating so hard her chest hurts. She forces herself to the door and opens it. Bucky looks like a startled deer, he’s just as spooked as Chase feels. 

“Ch-Chase?” There’s a tremor in his voice that pulls at Chase’s heart. She nods her head.

“Come in,” she says gently. He steps inside cautiously like he’s expecting this to be a trap. 

“What’s wrong?” she asks as she closes the door behind him. His mouth moves silently, he furrows his brow and closes his mouth again.

Bucky looks around.

“I...uh…” He clears his throat and tries again. “Look...Steve...he told me about...about you. Told me to come see you if...if it got too bad.”

Chase’s eyes widen. Is he hurt? There are bruises and cuts on his face like he’s been beaten pretty good, but how old are they? Is he hurt elsewhere?

“Bucky, are you hurt? More than just…” she motions to her face. He blinks slowly. 

“I…” he sighs heavily and sheds his jacket. She sees a bright red patch on his side and goes into nurse mode.

“Bathroom. I have stuff to clean this up. Come on,” she orders. She doesn’t give him a chance to argue, she takes his hand and leads him back to the bathroom where she turns all the lights on and then guides him to the sink. He looks scared and confused. Chase cups his face in her hands and makes him focus on her. 

“I won’t hurt you, okay?”

He nods his head slowly and she lets him go. He lifts his shirt gingerly and she sees the poorly bandaged wound that’s bleeding through. She winces as she peels the soaked tape and gauze off. He flinches and whines just a little as the tape sticks to his skin. 

“I’m sorry, honey,” she says as she finishes pulling it off of his skin.

“S’alright, sugar,” he replies through clenched teeth. 

“Did you go to medical?” she asks, looking into his cool blue eyes. He shakes his head no. She tilts her head and gives him a disappointed look. He looks away, a flush coming to his cheeks like he’s ashamed. 

“Take your shirt off, honey.”

He does, pulling the shirt over his head and revealing his sculpted body. If it weren’t for the blood oozing down his side from the open wound Chase may not have been able to take her eyes off of him. Or focus on what she needed to do. Or noticed the other injuries he had. 

“You should go to medical, Sergeant--”

“Bucky,” he says timidly. She smiles as she digs out her first aid kit. 

“Bucky. You need to go to medical--” Bucky is shaking his head no before she can even finish the sentence. 

“I don’t want to go down there. Please.” It’s a plea. A soft spoken, heart wrenching plea. Chase looks up into those blue eyes and bites her lip. 

“Okay, honey, okay,” she relents. “I’ll do what I can.”

He studies her for a moment and then nods his head. Chase gloves up and then gets to work on getting him bandaged up. 

“Steve told you to come?” she asks as she starts to clean him up. He nods his head and gasps when she starts to clean out the gash on his side. 

“Sorry! I’m sorry, Sergeant!” She feels horrible that she doesn’t have anything to give him for the pain or to even numb the area she’s working on. 

“Bucky. Just Bucky, sugar. Or honey.”

“Bucky, sugar or honey,” she repeats and smirks. She glances up and sees him looking curiously at her. 

“Smartass.”

He says it so plainly and matter-of-factly that Chase can’t help but laugh. 

“Sorry,” she says as she starts to suture the gash closed. He tenses up and she can hear his teeth grinding as the hook sinks into his flesh. 

“Deep breath, honey. Take a deep breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Nice and slow,” she instructs. 

She finishes stitching the largest of the wounds and carefully places a gauze bandage over it. 

“How are you holding up, honey?” she asks, looking up at him. He’s pale, but he gives her a weak smile. 

“I’m alright.”

She knows it’s a lie. She straightens up, takes the gloves off, and puts her hands on his face. 

“Look at me, honey. Follow my finger,” she instructs. She moves her index finger slowly in front of him and he closes his eyes, unable to focus. He slowly opens his eyes again. 

“Bucky…” She really wants him to go to the medical wing. He’s exhibiting signs of a possible concussion, blood loss, along with whatever is going on in his head right now. 

“Steve trusts you. He sent me to you. So...so I trust you, too. I know…” he wobbles a little bit. 

“Bucky--”

He wobbles a little more and Chase puts his arm over her shoulders and she helps him back to the bedroom. 

“Sit down, honey.” She helps him to the edge of the bed. 

“Sugar…”

“I’m going to finish bandaging your wounds. Are there any others?”

He shakes his head no and looks around the room. 

“You’re going to lie down, Sergeant Barnes.”

He goes to protest and she shakes her head at him. 

“No arguing. You look like hell, honey. I’m not saying that to be mean, I’m saying that as a fact. You need to rest. You need to give your body time to heal--”

“I don’t want to be alone.”

His words stop her in her tracks. 

“Is that why you came here, Bucky?”

He searches her face but doesn’t answer. 

“I’m not going to leave you alone and I won’t have them take you down to the medical wing. I promise,” she says, making a cross over her heart. “But I need you to rest. Please. Look,” she says going to her dresser and pulling out one of her over large t-shirts, “this might be a little snug but it’ll keep you covered. You can get under the covers and you can rest. I’ll be here. I literally cannot leave,” she says with a half hearted laugh. 

“Sugar…” he swallows, his lips dry smacking. He blinks tiredly. 

“Get comfortable. Do you want some water or juice or…?”

“Water. Please.”

Chase points to the head of the bed and then leaves the room. She grabs a bottle of water and heads back to the bedroom, turning it in her hands nervously. She’s worried about Bucky. She’s worried that just rest won’t help him. She’s worried that she should force him to go to the medical wing. She’s worried that if she does that he won’t stay and he’ll go back to wherever he came from and be alone with these wounds. 

She walks into the room to see him struggling to pull the shirt over his head. 

“Hang on, honey.” She puts the water down and helps him pull the shirt over his head and then gently down over his wounds. It’s snug, but not as bad as she thought it would be. 

“Led Zeppelin,” he reads off the shirt. He furrows his brow and then looks at her. 

“It’s a band. A great one. When you’re rested and healed you should listen to some of their stuff. Everyone says Stairway is the greatest song ever, but I think Kashmir is.”

Bucky grins a little. She hands the water bottle to Bucky, he opens it and downs the bottle in a few large gulps. 

“Want another?” she asks, taking the empty bottle from him. His cheeks flame red and he nods his head. She grins and goes to get him another bottle. She grabs two just to be on the safe side and brings them back. He downs the second bottle. She hands him the third and he shakes his head no. 

“I’m good...right now…” His eyelids are heavy and he’s fighting to keep them open. She sits on the edge of the bed next to him and puts her hand on his chest. 

“If you get cold, climb under the covers.” 

“Thanks, sugar.” 

He tries to kick off his shoes but can’t seem to get them off. Chase helps him and then puts them next to the bed so he can see them. 

“I’ll be in the living room. Yell if you need anything.”

He smiles.

“You’re a good girl, sugar.”

* * *

It’s been a few hours since Bucky showed up at the tower asking Chase for help. She’s sitting on the couch pulling on her lip. She knows he’s not out of the woods. Based on the fear in his eyes, the tremor in his voice...she bandaged his physical wounds as best she could, but she’s unsure of what will happen when he wakes up. Will he stick around? Was this visit just for his physical wounds? Did Steve send him here because of the emotional distress he’s under? Or for the physical wounds? Both? Why would Steve send him to her after what happened? Bucky said that Steve trusts her. Why? When did that change? 

She gets up and walks slowly back the hall. She had left the bedroom door open so she wouldn’t disturb him if she needed to check on him. She peers in and sees he’s burrowed under the covers with only the top of his head visible as he sleeps on his side. He’s exhausted. 

“Poor baby,” she whispers sadly. She slips back to the living room, gets her laptop out, and makes herself a cup of coffee. She needs to go shopping and this is the only way she has to do it.

* * *

“Sugar.”

Chase jumps off the couch and spins around to see Bucky looking startled. 

“Sorry,” they say at the same time. Bucky grins a little and Chase blows out a lung full of air then laughs.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, sugar.”

“It’s alright. Are you okay? You’re not as pale,” she says walking over to him. She brushes his hair away from his face and looks him over closely. 

“Yes and no.”

“Want to talk about it?”

He looks her over like he’s thinking about this.

“No.”

Chase nods her head, she had a feeling that would be the answer. 

“I think that nap helped a little.” She’s being just a little playful, trying to lighten the mood a bit. He grins shyly. 

“Yeah. I think you’re right, sugar. Thank you.”

She smiles and is about to ask him if he wants to stick around still but he stops her. 

“Let me take you out to dinner.”

That came out of the absolute blue. Chase’s lips pucker because she wasn’t expecting that.

“I’d love to, but I can’t leave. I’m under house arrest or some shit,” Chase explains. He furrows his brow and looks down at the floor. 

“We can order in if you’re hungry,” Chase suggests. 

“Only if you let me pay.”

“Are you always this demanding, Sergeant?” she teases. He grins a little more. 

“No,” he says but he’s nodding his head yes. Chase laughs lightly. 

“Let’s see if we can find something.” He follows her to the couch and Chase picks up the laptop so she can sit down. He sits close to her and leans in to look at the laptop. She knows he’s just curious and there’s nothing on her screen that’s going to embarrass either of them (thank god). 

“Groceries?” he asks, head tilted just so. 

“Can’t leave and I can’t keep eating out, even if Stark has decided to fund me for the rest of my life.”

“Are you and Stark close?” He’s looking at her with those blue eyes that sear the soul. 

“Acquaintances. Mostly. He claims I saved his life. I did it so that…” she stops talking and purses her lips.

“That was you on the coms yelling for us to get to Stark. Wasn’t it?” It’s a rhetorical question, she knows Bucky is well aware it was her.

“It was.”

“You probably did save his life, sugar. That was a hell of a lot of energy that passed through all of us. It burned like…” he shakes his head, unable to find any reasonable comparison. “He wouldn’t have been able to handle that energy on his own. None of us could have. But you knew that...didn’t you?”

Chase stares at the computer screen, millions of thoughts rushing through her head all trying to be the focal point for an answer. She settles on the most ambiguous answer she can come up with.

“Just like you, honey, there are some things I don’t want to talk about. Not right now.”

“I understand, sugar. Can I...can I see this?” he asks, pointing to the laptop. She hands it over to him and he sits criss cross applesauce on the couch with the laptop on his lap. Now he looks unsure. 

“Point and click with this,” she says running her fingers over the trackpad. He follows her demonstration and opens a new tab. He looks super pleased and then looks at Chase. She smiles and waits to see what he’s going to do next. 

“What do you like to eat?” he asks, fingers poised over the keyboard. 

“What do you like, honey?”

“Pizza. Subs. Sushi--”

“Sushi. Let’s do sushi. It’s probably the healthiest I’ve eaten in two weeks,” Chase interjects. He grins a little and carefully hunts and pecks for the letters as Chase watches. He knows what he’s after, spelling out the name of a restaurant he’s at least somewhat familiar with. 

“Do you know what kind you like?” he asks, eyes bright and shining. 

“Honey, the only sushi I’ve ever eaten is a Philly roll. What about you?”

He looks at the screen and after a moment he figures out how to make the page scroll down using the trackpad. 

“Will you trust me?” he asks softly. Chase tucks her legs under herself and shrugs. 

“Sure. Just don’t make it anything that might be overly gross,” she warns. He pats her leg and smiles.

“I can do that, sugar.” He looks at the screen for a few moments and then at Chase.

“How do I…”

She leans closer to look at the screen with him. 

“What do you want to do?”

“Can I order through here?” 

“Umm…” Chase scrolls the page back up a little bit. “Looks like you can. Or we can call if you know what we want.”

“How do we order on here?”

Chase smiles. He wants to play on the laptop. She wonders if he’s not had the chance to do so since all this shit has gone down with him. 

“See the little picture next to the name of the sushi roll?” She points to the image. He nods. “Click on one of the ones you want.”

He does and it pops up a smaller window asking how many rolls, what special requests, etc. Bucky looks like a little kid now. 

“That’s it?” he asks as he selects how many rolls he wants. 

“That’s it. When you’re done, click on where it says close and it should close this little window and go back to the other page. Wash, rinse, repeat.”

He beams more at the laptop than at her and then he just goes to town. She lets him go, turns the TV on and starts flipping through the infinite number of channels. 

“Chase?”

She turns her attention back to Bucky who now looks perplexed. 

“What’s wrong, honey?” 

“How do I pay?” He’s so sweet and innocent looking Chase can’t help but smile. She leans in closer again and he watches intently as she shows him how to get to the payment page. 

“Cash or charge?” she asks him. 

“Paper or plastic,” he mumbles. “I have cash.”

“Click that little box right there.”

“Now you have to fill out the delivery address.”

“I guess just saying Stark Tower won’t work?” he asks. Chase shakes her head and gives him the address. He enters it slowly and then asks her to repeat it so he can make sure he has it right. 

“Done,” he says proudly. He looks at the laptop and then back at Chase. 

“Would you mind if I kept using this?” He’s back to sounding timid and unsure, like he’s afraid she’s going to flip out on him. 

“Go ahead.”

He smiles brightly and starts to play on the laptop. Chase grins and goes back to watching the TV. Every now and then she looks over and sees him trying to figure something out, but he never asks. Chase is guessing he’s trying to figure it out himself. He’s so cute. 

She hears a phone chime going off in the bedroom. Bucky hands her the laptop and goes running after his phone. She puts the laptop on the coffee table and goes after him. He’s already halfway down the hall on his phone when she gets to him. 

“Yeah. Be right down.” He hangs up and gives her a smile. “Food’s here, sugar. Want to come with me?”

“Sure.”

* * *

They finish eating, having mostly eaten in silence, sitting on the floor around the coffee table sharing the sushi. 

“Thank you for dinner,” Chase says. Bucky grins.

“Sure, sugar. Thank you. For...you know.”

“It’s alright.”

He nods his head and looks at the TV. Chase can see he’s stewing on something. 

“What’s wrong, honey?” 

“I don’t have any right to ask--”

“Bucky.”

“Would it be alright if I stayed? Steve isn’t back yet and it’s...you don’t have to. I mean...it’s okay if--”

“Are you still uneasy being alone?” she asks gently. 

“Yeah,” he replies after a few moments. He looks ashamed. 

“You can stay, honey.”

He smiles warmly.

“Thank you.” The relief in his voice is unmistakable. 

“Can I ask you something?”

“Okay?” He sounds hesitant. 

“Do you have a thing for tech? Like the laptop?” She’s basing this on what she knows from her world, but she’s not sure if that’s going to be the case here.

“Tech. Computers?”

“Computers, cell phones,” she says pointing at his phone that’s been laying in front of him on the coffee table, “tablets, TVs, game systems…”

“All of that is tech?” he asks, sounding genuinely intrigued. 

“Yup.” She’s struck with an idea suddenly and jumps up. She grabs a pair of earbuds and the laptop. “Come here, honey.”

He gets up and sits on the couch. She puts the laptop on his lap and plugs the earbuds in and then puts them in his ears. He doesn’t protest, just watches and let's Chase set him up. She opens up YouTube and pulls up a video on how technology has changed from the 1940s up until now. 

“When you’re done, if you scroll down you can find more videos to watch,” she tells him. He nods his head and then looks up at her and smiles sweetly. He pushes play and loses himself in the video. Chase heads back to the bedroom and grabs a pillow. She comes back and Bucky barely notices, his head is tilted a little as he stares at the screen. She taps on his leg and his head shoots up. 

“Push pause.”

It takes him a moment but he figures it out. She hands him the pillow and then sits down on the couch, leaning against the arm, putting her legs up on the couch, keeping them bent so that Bucky still has room. 

He’s still holding the pillow, having watched Chase get situated and then he does the same thing, putting the pillow behind his back, putting his feet up on the couch so that now his feet are touching hers. He settles in with the laptop and Chase smiles when he brushes his foot against hers. He’s grinning, trying to act like he didn’t do anything. She lets him go, still smiling as she goes back to watching TV. 

Time passes and Bucky is still glued to the laptop screen. His eyes are glazed over from watching it so much, but he’s clearly intrigued, and that’s what Chase wanted. Let him feed his curiosity. 

A little later and Chase is starting to doze off. She looks over at Bucky and he’s still glued to the screen. 

“Bucky.”

He looks up quickly from the screen.

“What’s wrong, sugar?” He slides the laptop from his legs and focuses on her. 

“I’m tired.”

He looks at his watch and his eyes widen for a brief moment. 

“Yeah, it’s almost one in the morning.” He rubs his eyes like a little kid. 

“You ready for bed?” she asks. 

“I think so.”

“You can sleep in the bedroom--”

“No, Chase. I’ll sleep on the couch. I’m not going to ask you to give up your bed, not after what you’ve done so far.”

“Bucky,” she tries to protest. He shakes his head no.

“At least let me look at your bandages and change them.”

“Alright, sugar.” 

They get up and stretch simultaneously. Bucky closes the laptop and places it on the coffee table. She leads him back to the bathroom and he pulls the shirt off carefully. 

“Not bad,” she says looking him over. “Let me change this one out, the rest should be okay until tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

He’s not at all argumentative or scared. She changes the bandage carefully. 

“Let me grab you a blanket, honey. Are you sure you want the couch? You’re still healing--”

He takes her chin gently in his fingers and smiles.

“The couch is fine, sugar. I promise.”

Chase looks away, feeling the heat on her cheeks. 

“Let me get that blanket.”

She steps around him and heads to the bedroom. She hears the bathroom door shut and the fan go on. He’s trying to be discreet. She’s taken with his charm, subtle that it may be at times. 

She grabs the thickest sherpa blanket she has and meets Bucky in the hall. 

“Okay?” she asks. 

“I’m good, sugar.”

He sits down on the couch and watches Chase as she shakes out the blanket and fluffs the pillow for him. He drops onto his back and grins a little. She covers him up with the blanket. 

“Goodnight, sugar.”

“Goodnight, honey.”

* * *

The strangled cry from the living room scares Chase out of a fitful sleep. 

“Bucky.”

She falls out of the bed, tangled in the sheets, and scrambles to the living room. He’s sitting up on the couch, hugging the pillow tightly, and rocking back and forth. 

“Bucky?” She approaches slowly, worried maybe he’s still in his nightmare. 

A muffled sob bubbles up from the pillow. 

She carefully sits down next to him and puts her hand on his back.

“Chase.” His voice is choked and thick. 

“It’s okay, honey. I’m right here. I’m right here. FRIDAY, lights on, dim.”

The lights come on, dimmed as she had requested. 

“I need to use the bathroom,” he says suddenly. He drops the pillow and all but runs towards the bathroom. Chase gets up and follows, waiting patiently outside the bathroom. There are no sounds, he’s incredibly quiet. She knocks lightly on the door.

“Bucky? Are you okay, honey?”

A moment of silence. She’s about to knock again when he answers. 

“Yeah...yeah…” 

“Do you want something to drink?”

Silence. He’s still being sick. She’s about to open the door when she hears the toilet flush. 

“Drink. Please.”

“I’ll be right back,” she promises. She runs to the kitchen and grabs him a can of ginger ale. Just as she gets to the bathroom the door opens and he steps outside. Bucky looks like hell, like he just had to relive the most violent parts of his past. 

Chase doesn’t think about what she’s doing, she just puts her arms around him and hugs him tightly. 

“It’s okay, honey. It’s okay.” 

Bucky puts his arms around her and holds her so tight it’s almost painful. He lays his head on her shoulder and she can feel him shaking. This is why he didn’t want to be alone. This is why Steve sent him to her. Steve usually takes care of him and if Chase had to wager a guess, Bucky does the same for Steve. 

“Let’s go sit down, honey.” She lets him go slowly and he lifts his head. 

“Yeah?” she asks. He nods and releases his hold on her. She takes his hand and they walk to the couch. He drops down heavily. 

“Here,” she says opening the can of soda and handing it to him. “Try and get that taste out of your mouth, sweetie.”

He takes the can and sighs before taking a drink. 

“Has anyone held you, Bucky? That you remember?”

“My mom. When I was a baby.” He holds the can in both hands, keeping his head down so she can’t see his face. 

“No one has held you since? Not a pretty girl from before you got shipped out? Hot little number with red lips and long lashes she’d bat at you?”

He chuckles and shakes his head. This makes Chase smile. Humor is often the best medicine. 

“Not something that they did that much, sugar,” he says, turning the can in his hands. 

“Not even your best girl?” she asks. He smiles a little. 

“Didn’t have one. Not before I shipped out, anyways.”

Chase sits quietly for a moment chewing on her bottom lip. 

“Want to watch some TV?” she asks. He looks over at her again and smiles weakly. 

“Yeah.”

She turns the TV on and hands him the remote. 

“Find something you like, honey. Something to take your mind off this.”

“You were doing a good job, sugar.”

Chase feels the heat creep up on her cheeks and she smiles. 

“Why didn’t you have a steady girl?” she asks. Bucky takes another drink and purses his lips.

“Different time. And I didn’t want to have Steve feeling left out. Most girls...they weren’t keen on him tagging along and their friends even less so. And that killed me as much as it killed Steve. They never saw what a good guy the kid was.” 

“I’m sorry, honey.”

“Don’t be. I’m not. At least not about that.”

“Did they ever play with your hair?” 

He chuckles again and looks over at her, a playful grin on his face. 

“What are you after, sugar? Just ask.”

Chase’s jaw drops and she closes it again with a snap. He’s good. 

“Okay. So...would you like to cuddle?” she asks, bracing for instant rejection or a cold laugh or both. 

“Really?” He sounds like an excited child.

“Yes.”

“How...how do we do…” he’s looking at the couch trying to figure out how they’d cuddle. Chase grabs his pillow, puts it behind her back and leans back against the arm of the couch and then stretches out till he has to move. She beckons him to her and he gingerly lays himself on top of her. 

“You’re good, honey, it’s alright,” she whispers. He lowers his weight down onto her slowly, resting his head on her chest and wrapping his arms around her. Chase combs her fingers through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. Bucky moans softly and the rest of his weight settles on her. He’s heavier than he looks, a solid mass of muscle and metal. 

“Am I hurting you, sugar?”

“Nope. All good,” she replies, looping a lock of his dark hair around her fingers. He sighs. 

“Want to talk about your nightmare?” she asks. 

“Hmm mmm.”

He changes the channel a few times and Chase sees that he’s no longer shaking and he’s breathing easily again. No signs of panic in him at the moment. 

“Do girls do this a lot now?”

It’s been a while since either of them have spoken, Chase content to toy with Bucky’s long hair and Bucky seemingly content to let her do as she pleases. 

“I guess that depends on the girl. Some do, some don’t.”

“Girls are different now. Women. Women are different now,” he muses. She sees he’s focused on the TV, watching what the hell ever it is he’d left the channel at. 

“How so?”

“You’re more independent. You don’t need us.”

“Us as in guys? The male of our species?”

She feels him chuckling and it makes her smile. 

“The male of our species,” he repeats, the humor evident in his voice. “Yes.”

“That’s not entirely true. We aren’t plants. We can’t asexually reproduce.”

This gets a much heartier laugh out of him, shaking them both and making Chase giggle. 

“You’re something else, sugar.”

“I don’t know how to take that, Bucky.”

He looks up at her, blue eyes shining brightly, a far cry from the scared look he had a while ago.

“You’re a good girl. Woman. Can’t call you girls, you get offended--”

“Oh for fucks sake,” Chase groans and rolls her eyes. Bucky laughs a little again. 

“It’s true--”

“It is not. Not for all of us. I take it with a grain of salt. I used to get called, girl, honey, baby, sweetheart, sugar, doll, doll face, baby doll, sweet cheeks, honey pot…”

“Honey pot?” The smirk on his face is both lewd and totally adorable. 

“Like you’ve never catcalled a girl.”

“Never said I didn’t. Sugar.”

Chase sucks on her teeth and gives Bucky what she hopes is a stern look. He starts to chuckle and she knows she failed.

“Alright. Honey.”

He grunts and puts his head back down. She can see by the way his cheeks are plumped out that he’s still smiling.

It’s quiet again for a little while. Bucky is playing with the hem of her shirt and Chase continues to play with his hair. His dark locks are so thick and Chase is fascinated with the fact that he has better hair than she does. 

“This is nice.”

His voice is almost lower than the TV. 

“What? This?” she asks, rolling another lock of his hair around her fingers. 

“This, you trying to curl my hair with your fingers--”

Chase bursts out laughing. He looks up at her and smiles softly. 

“I like it,” he tells her. “It’s...it’s relaxing in the oddest way.”

“What else do you do to relax when it gets like this, honey? What else can I do?”

He shifts on her a bit so he can look up at her a little easier. 

“You’re doing more than I could have asked for, Chase. Thank you, sugar.”

He resumes his position and goes back to playing with the hem of her shirt. Chase smiles to herself and goes back to running her fingers through Bucky’s dark tresses. 

They fall asleep on the couch together like this. 

* * *

Chase opens her eyes slowly. Something is amiss. 

Bucky is gone. 

She sits straight up, panic gripping her in its icy talons. 

“Bucky? Honey?”

No answer. 

“Fuck. Shit...oh god...oh shit....” She jumps off the couch, her head swimming for a moment. “Bucky?!”

“Sugar?” He comes down the hall looking perplexed and worried.

“Oh thank Christ,” she sighs, placing her hand over her racing heart. 

“What’s wrong?” He lifts her chin and makes her look him in the eyes. “Sugar, what’s wrong?”

“I didn’t know where you were...I just…” she can barely breathe from being so spooked. 

“I had to take a leak and I didn’t want to wake you, Chase. Look at me, it’s okay. Breathe. Just breathe.”

Chase closes her eyes and does her best to get her breathing to slow down and her heart to stop thundering. She feels his hands on her face, the cool metal of his left hand a stark contrast to the warmth of his right hand. She opens her eyes and sees he’s studying her intently, looking very concerned. 

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I...I panicked. I’m so sorry.” She feels so damn foolish for acting like this, especially around him when she’s supposed to be the calm one.

“Don’t be. Just means you care, sugar. It means a lot.” He smiles, a genuinely warm smile that immediately eases her mind. 

“Are you okay?” she asks, still feeling dumb. He shrugs a little. 

“Better. Not great. I was coming back, sugar. I just had to piss like a racehorse. That’s the right saying?”

“Yeah, that’s it,” she laughs. “Since we’re over here, let’s check your wounds.”

This time he leads her into the bathroom. He pulls her shirt off and waits while she inspects his wounds. Chase changes the bandages she needs to and then steps back. 

“Looks good, honey. You’re healing nicely. And fast. That’s the serum I guess, right?”

“That’s the serum. Glad I look good, doc.”

“Listen, smartass, it’s nurse. I’m too good to be a doctor.”

Bucky smiles, then snorts, then starts laughing. He stops and wrinkles his nose.

“I need a shower.” 

“As do I,” Chase says bluntly. “But you don’t have any other clothes…”

She stops talking because he’s studying her intently again.

“Steve’s not back yet. Can I…”

“Yes.” She knows the question before he even finishes asking. He exhales in relief. 

“I need to get clothes. I can be back in less than an hour.”

“Make sure you grab your gear, just to be on the safe side,” she tells him. He nods his head quickly and cups her face again. 

“Thank you sugar,” he says in a low timbre. “I’ll be back soon.”

She nods her head, he smiles sweetly, kisses her forehead and heads for the door. Chase watches him put his shoes on and then exit the apartment. 

Chase’s heart is hammering again but for a different reason. His smile, his charm, those striking blue eyes…

“Get a grip,” she growls to herself. “FRIDAY, update security protocols for access to this floor.”

“What shall I update, Miss Darkwell?”

“Allow James Barnes access.”

“Are you sure?” 

The question from the AI makes Chase take pause. Is she sure? He’s coming to her for help, that’s all it is. There’s nothing to worry about. He’s not going to be like Steve. 

“Yes.”

  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Bucky gets inside of the apartment and checks his phone again. Still nothing from Steve. That’s alright, though. He didn’t think it would be at first. Didn’t think Steve’s suggestion was a good one because of what happened between him and Chase. But damn if Steve wasn’t right about her. 

He scratches at his head where just hours ago Chase was playing with his hair and running her nails lightly over his scalp. It gives him a pleasant chill. She smells great.

He takes a whiff of himself and coughs. He stinks. How she tolerated his funk for so long is beyond him. He packs his gear and grabs clothes to take back with him. He catches a whiff of himself again and decides he really needs to shower. He strips quickly and gets in the shower, making haste to scrub himself off. 

He finishes up, gets dressed, grabs his stuff, and heads back outside. Just as the Harley’s engine rumbles to life he’s struck with an idea. He heads out onto the street, a huge grin on his face. 

* * *

He gets back to the tower and goes inside. Once inside the elevator he realizes he doesn’t have access to her floor. 

“FRIDAY.”

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?” 

“Can you let Chase know I’m here?”

Silence.

“Miss Darkwell has given you permission to access that floor. Please hold out your hands, Sergeant Barnes.”

He does what the AI asks, holding his hands out the way Chase had done the other day, palms up. It takes longer than he thinks it should for the AI to finish the scan, but when she does the elevator begins its ascent. He picks the box up and his bag and waits impatiently. 

The ride comes to an end and he heads to Chase’s door. She has it open before he can even knock. 

“Welcome back,” she says with a soft smile. Bucky grins. He follows her in and hands her the box.

“What’s this?”

“Open it, sugar.”

She gives him a curious look and opens the box carefully. Her eyes widen and she smiles.

“Cannolis?”

“I figured it was something to try and show my appreciation for what you’ve done for me.”

“Oh, Bucky...you didn’t need to do this…”

“I wanted to. It’s not much, sugar, but -“

“No, this looks like a lot of sugar,” she interjects and then laughs. Bucky puckers his lips and then smiles a little. 

“Smartass.”

She laughs more and goes to the kitchen. He drops the bag and follows. 

“Do you want some coffee?” She asks. He nods. She studies him for a moment. 

“You’re still feeling it. The bad dream and what happened on the mission, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah. It’s better when I’m not alone. I know you don’t owe me anything or Steve for that matter -“

“Don’t.”

Bucky decides it best not to press his luck. Instead he sits at the small table and watches as Chase puts tiny little cups into a machine and after a few moments liquid comes out.

“I guess fresh ground coffee is a thing from the distant past,” he muses out loud. This makes her laugh for some reason. 

“They still do fresh ground, honey. It just doesn’t make sense for someone like me to buy it. I only drink one cup a day. Two at most.”

“You know you can measure it out, sugar.” He gives her his best grin and she puckers her lips in a thinly veiled attempt to hide her smile. 

“Are you this smarmy with everyone or am I just lucky?” Chase asks. The smile on her face makes him chuckle. 

“Just pointing out a fact.”

The smile never leaves her face as she nods at him. The small coffee maker sputters and she gets the cup for him.

“How do you take it?”

“Black.”

“Yikes.” She grimaces as she hands him the cup. He laughs. 

“How do you take yours?” he asks as she sets up for another round in the machine.

“Cream and sugar.”

“Sweet like you, huh?” 

This earns him an eyeroll. 

“Your eyes should be brown,” she says through a smirk. Bucky was about to take a sip of coffee and stops.

“Why is that?”

“Because you are so full of shit.”

Bucky bursts out laughing. 

* * *

Bucky is playing on Chase’s laptop when he feels the onset of what he knows will be one of _those_ types of headaches. Chase is putzing around on her phone only half watching the movie he’d put on for them to ‘watch’. Neither of them are really invested in it, though. 

He closes his eyes and rubs his temples. Yeah, it’s going to be bad. 

“Bucky?”

She sounds worried. When he opens his eyes he can see by the look on her face that she is. He smiles, but the pain is setting in fast and with fury. 

“Honey?” She scoots closer to him and puts her hand on his cheek. He closes his eyes again marveling at how soft her hands are.

“Okay. Give me this,” she says taking the laptop from him. “How bad is it?”

“Bad.”

“Let me call Doctor Banner--”

“No,” he says, putting his hand on her leg. “No. Please.”

She doesn’t seem pleased by his insistence, but she doesn’t argue. 

“What can I do, honey? What do you need?”

Right now he needs to lie down and close his eyes. He doesn’t want to be alone, though. With Steve he’s always attached to the man’s hip during these episodes and Steve didn’t seem to mind. Would Chase? 

“I just need to close my eyes.” 

“You’re turning green, Bucky. Are you feeling sick?”

“Nauseated. It’ll pass.” He hopes it will, at least.

“Do you want to lie down?”

He studies her, his head pounding, his temples where they had attached the electrodes feel like they’re being singed all over again. He wants to ask her to lie down with him. Just to be close to her, just so he can feel grounded to someone who is real, who cares. 

“I can stay out here…”

She starts moving on the couch and puts one of the couch pillows on her lap. He gets the gist right away and he’s so goddamn thankful he can’t speak for a moment. He stretches out on the couch and puts his head in her lap. 

“Face me so you’re not tempted to look at the TV, honey. I think you’ve had too much blue light.”

He has no idea what that is and right now he doesn’t care. He rolls over and nestles into the warmth of her belly. His head hurts so badly now his eyes are starting to water. 

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay, honey?” Again he hears the concern in her voice. 

“It’ll pass, sugar. Always does.”

He notices the volume on the TV getting lower until it’s just a dull buzzing in the background. The pounding pain in his head intensifies and all he wants to do is die. He shifts a little, trying to get more comfortable, trying to find a way to make his head stop hurting. 

“Chase.”

“What do you need, honey?”

He reaches up blindly for her hand and when she gives it to him he guides her to his head. 

“Are you sure?” She seems hesitant. 

“Yes.” If nothing else he’s certain it’ll calm him down and lull him to sleep. He feels her fingers in his hair, twirling strands of his hair at first. She stops and he’s about to protest when he feels her run her nails gently over his scalp. That’s the ticket. That’s what he wanted. The soothing quality of this simple act is nothing short of amazing to him. 

* * *

Bucky wakes up groggy and disoriented. He sits up quickly and his head spins and thumps.

“Hey. Hey. You’re alright, honey. You’re okay.” Her voice is soft and low. Chase. He’s with Chase. He looks over at her and she tilts her head a little to look at him. 

“You okay?” 

Bucky rubs his temples and nods his head. It’s a half truth. Mostly. Maybe. 

“Bucky.”

He feels her hand on his leg and her gently squeezing his thigh. 

“I’m alright, sugar.” Again, a half truth. 

“No you’re not.”

He looks at her and grins a little. 

“Better than I was. How about that?” he asks. She smiles a little, but she still doesn’t seem to believe him. 

“It is better, Chase. Not totally, but…” he trails off. 

“How about something to drink? Get some fluids into you?” She’s suggesting this as a form of a question but Bucky can hear that she really wants him to do this. 

“Yeah, okay. Let me go take a leak first, sugar.”

She laughs. He can’t help but grin. Why does she find him so amusing he wonders. 

“Go take your leak,” she tells him with a smirk. He grins a little more and stands up. When he wobbles a bit, Chase is on her feet helping to steady him, her hands on his hips, her body tensed to hold him up just in case. 

“I’m alright. I promise.” He smiles at her and when she seems satisfied that he’s not bullshitting her again she lets go of his hips. He steps back from her and heads down the hall to take a much needed piss and to convince his dick and balls that now isn’t the time for shenanigans.

He goes back to the living room and sees she has a huge glass of ice water waiting for him on the coffee table and a bottle that says Excedrin. There’s also a pillow and a blanket on the couch along with Chase, seemingly waiting for him. 

“Sugar?” He’s perplexed by the pillow and blanket. 

“I figured you’d be more comfortable. You were shivering a little,” she explains. 

“You’re a sweet girl, Chase,” he says, sitting next to her. “You know that, right?”

She blushes faintly and laughs a little. 

“Drink the water. I don’t know if you want the Excedrin--it’s for migraines. I don’t know if it’ll help you or not…”

He shakes his head no. 

“It won’t, but the water probably will.” He takes the glass and downs half of it. 

“Do you want more?”

He finishes the water off and shakes his head. All he really wants is to curl up on the couch again with her. 

“Are you hungry?”

He thinks about this.

“Not really. Not yet. Are you? Do you want to eat? I’ll eat--”

“Slow down, honey. It’s still early. We have time. If you’re staying I mean.” She added the last part in haste and he can see the blush on her cheeks again. 

“If it’s okay with you. I don’t think Steve’s back yet.” He checks his phone to confirm this. Sure enough there’s nothing there. 

She has the pillow ready on her lap for him but she looks hesitant. 

“Why don’t you take your pants off and get comfortable.”

Bucky’s eyes widen and in amusement and surprise. 

“No...I mean...go change...for fucks sake,” she grumbles and covers her eyes with her hand. “Put on something other than jeans.”

He laughs and it makes his head pound but he can’t help it. 

“You are such a jerk,” she mutters. Now he really laughs. 

“I’m not the one trying to coax you out of your pants, sugar.”

“You know what…” She tries to glare at him, he grins, and she starts to laugh. 

“You want me to take off my pants, huh?”

“James Barnes, I swear to god I’m going to put my foot up your ass so far you’ll be shitting Nike Crosstrainer for the next six months.”

Bucky bursts out laughing and pays for it, but he can’t stop. She bites her lip and just nods her head. He knows she’s trying not to laugh, he can just see it. 

He stands up and makes a show of unbuckling his belt.

“Oh my god…”

“I’m just messing with you, sugar. I’m alright like this. Unless you really do want me to take my pants off. It would be rude of me to deny you--”

“You better sit your ass down, Barnes,” she laughs. He laughs again and settles onto the couch with his head in her lap again, still chuckling a little. He quiets down almost immediately when she scratches lightly at his scalp. His eyes close and the pain in his head starts to subside a little. 

“Put something on to watch, sugar.”

He hears the channels being changed and then they stop. He’s not really listening anymore, content with where he is. 

He feels her fingertips run over his side and down to his hip then back up again. He wants to feel her fingers on his skin. Needs to. Nothing sexual, just a need for more physical contact. He pulls his shirt up exposing his side as much as he can, but there’s no further touching. He rolls over a little and looks up at her. She’s regarding him with a curious look of her own. 

“Don’t stop, sugar. Don’t --”

“Shhh…” she whispers, running a finger under his jaw. He closes his eyes for a moment and when he opens them again she’s smiling a little. He smiles back and takes that as his cue to roll back over onto his side. As soon as he does she’s rubbing his side softly and combing her fingers through her hair. He closes his eyes again and drifts off to sleep. 

* * *

Bucky snaps awake and nearly falls off the couch. 

“Bucky! Hey! It’s okay, it’s okay!” Chase sounds frantic and scared. Bucky looks around. Her apartment. He’s with Chase in her apartment and he’d been asleep…

“Bucky?”

He takes a deep breath to try and slow his heart rate down a little. He reaches for her hand and she gives it to him willingly. He squeezes her hand a little, just to make sure she’s real, to make sure he’s not still dreaming. 

“I’m sorry, kitten. I’m sorry--”

“Don’t, Bucky. It’s okay,” she says softly. She slides closer to him and loops her arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder. “You’re safe, honey. You’re safe.”

He sighs shakily. The dream still has his stomach in a free fall and his heart is still racing a little. 

“I’m okay, sugar. I’m sorry.” He feels like he should apologize again for scaring her even though he’s scared himself. 

“Want to talk about it, honey? Sometimes that helps.” 

He swallows the lump in his throat. He can’t bring himself to talk about his nightmare though. He can’t make himself tell her that this is one of many recurring nightmares he has. That it’s a constant. That she and Steve are the only ones who…

“It’s okay, Bucky. You don’t have to. Don’t force it, sweetheart.”

He sucks in a deep breath trying to keep the tears at bay. She hugs his arm tighter. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” she says firmly, lifting her head from his shoulder. “Stop. You don’t need to apologize, honey. Understand?” She takes his chin between her thumb and fingers and forces him to look her in the eyes. He nods his head slowly and he feels a stray tear fall and glide down his cheek. Chase’s eyes soften and before Bucky realizes what she’s doing, Chase has her arms around him and is hugging him tightly. He puts his arms around her as best he can and rests his head against her chest. 

“I’ve got you honey. I won’t let go till you tell me to.”

Bucky hugs her tighter.

“You’re a sweet girl, Chase,” he says after several minutes. “Steve was right about you. You’re one of the good ones.”

* * *

It’s been almost a week since Bucky started staying with Chase. Even though he insists on sleeping on the couch when she’s offered to let him sleep in the bedroom. He’s declined each time she’s offered. And the only reason he’s declined is because she would be sleeping on the couch. He’d rather sleep next to her. He _wants_ to sleep next to her, not just on the couch, but in the bed. Holding her, curled up against her warm body, breathing in that soft scent of hers. She makes his head swim in the best possible way. 

He wonders if she would consider sleeping next to him in bed. How does that work these days? He’s watched TV, seen movies, hell Steve brought home a damn porn movie Sam had given him and holy shit…

He groans quietly and stares at the ceiling. He can’t sleep. She went to bed over an hour ago. He wonders if she’s asleep. He sees a flash of light outside and sits up quickly. He waits and sees another flash. Lightning. 

“Shit.” He hates storms. Hates the sound of thunder. It too closely resembles the sounds embedded in his soul from the war. Neither he or Steve can sleep through thunderstorms. PTSD is what the shrink calls it. Or something. He doesn’t pay the guy much mind. Never has. 

A loud clap of thunder makes him jump off the couch and break out into a cold sweat. Lightning flashes, illuminating the entire living room area. Bucky feels nauseated all of the sudden. Thunder crashes again and he clamps his hand over his mouth to stifle a whimper. 

He looks down the hall towards the bedroom. She's told him every night that if he needs anything to come get her. He needs her now, but he’s not sure if he should go to her or not. This isn’t a normal circumstance. This isn’t the 40s either. 

Another loud clap of thunder and the decision is made. He heads back towards the bedroom. 

Another thunderclap just as he gets to her open door.

“Bucky?”

“Sugar…”

The light in the room goes on, a soft, warm light next to her bed. She’s sitting up and beckoning to him.

“I heard it. Come here.”

Another thunderclap and he all but runs into the room. 

“It’s okay,” she purrs as he climbs into the bed with her. She pulls the covers back and lets him get under them with her. She pulls him close and curls up with him. Each clap of thunder, each time he jumps, she’s right there to soothe him with a soft word and her tender touch. 

“It reminds me of the war,” he whispers after a particularly loud thunder burst. Chase’s fingers massage his scalp while she cuddles him. 

“The noise? Or the lightning?”

“Both,” he admits looking into her eyes. She still has the light on and it illuminates her like a halo effect. She looks like an angel. 

More thunder. He jumps and she brushes his hair from his face. 

“When I was little I was scared of storms, too. I used to cry and hide under my bed,” she confesses with the sweetest of smiles. “My great granddaddy used to laugh at me and tell me there’s nothing to be afraid of. He’d say it’s just the angels getting drunk and bowling.”

Bucky bursts out laughing. She’s smiling radiantly now, which means making him laugh was what she wanted. 

“How old were you when he fed you that line, sugar?”

“Oh...maybe five or six.”

Bucky is still laughing a little. 

“Drunken angels bowling,” he muses.

“The lightning is when they get a strike. The thunder is when they down a shot.”

Bucky can’t stop laughing now. He’s never heard such bullshit in his life.

“Great granddad told you this?” he asks between laughs. 

“Most of it. I added to it as I got older.”

“You’re something else, you know that?” he asks her with a grin. She shrugs. 

“I’m sure that won’t be the last time I hear that.”

“Smartass.”

She laughs. 

“Do you hear that?” she asks after a moment. Bucky strains to listen but all he hears is the soft whirring of the air conditioning. 

“No. What do you hear, sugar?” he asks. He’s afraid she’s heard something he wasn’t able to and he needs to be ready for...whatever.

“It stopped.”

“What--”

“The storm. It’s over.”

Bucky listens a little harder now. There is no thunder. He can’t even hear the rain pelting the windows. 

“Go to sleep, honey.”

“I can go back to the couch,” he offers, sounding as stupid as he feels for suggesting it. She gives him a rather surprised look.

“And if another storm rolls through?”

He hadn’t thought about that.

“So long as you keep that heat seeking thrill missile to yourself we’ll be fine.”

“Heat. Seeking. Thrill. Missile.” He repeats each word slowly and deliberately and she seems to be amused by this based on the shit eating grin on her face.

“That. You know, your penis. Cock. Dick. Schlong. Purple-headed yogurt slinger, baby maker, meat stick, magic wand, one-eyed trouser snake--”

“Okay! Okay! Stop!” he laughs. “I get it. Keep my boys in my pants. Holy shit, sugar, who taught you all that?”

“A lady never tells,” she sings in response. He laughs. 

Bucky is overly amused by her shenanigans. She is an absolute delight. No wonder Steve kissed her. Bucky would kiss her, too.

"Bucky, what's wrong?" she asks. He's surprised by the question. Did his expression give away his thoughts?

"Nothing, sugar. Just amused by the drunken angels thing," he lies. She skews an eyebrow at him but doesn't question it. She brushes his hair back once more and smiles.

"Try and get some sleep, honey."

"Thank you. Again," he whispers. He doubts he'll get back to sleep but he doesn't care. He's just happy to be able to be close to Chase.

  
  
  


  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Bucky awakens to the feeling of a warm body snuggled tight up against him. It brings an instant smile to his face. He can tell just by the way Chase is breathing that she’s still asleep. She has her face buried in his shoulder--the metal one. He can’t imagine she’s comfortable but he doesn’t want to disturb her, so he stays as still as possible listening to Chase’s breathing. There’s a soothing, almost hypnotic quality to it.

He wonders what Steve will say about this when Bucky tells him. Should he even tell Steve? Will this cause an issue with Steve similar to the one Steve and Chase had? What will Chase think or do? He doesn’t want there to be an issue between Chase and Steve. Quite the contrary, Bucky wants to have them make amends. Steve thinks very highly of Chase, and he obviously trusts her otherwise Bucky wouldn’t be here. And Bucky knows that Steve has never had a woman touch him this gently -- not the way Chase uses touch to soothe and heal. There’s this sense of calming that Chase just exudes. 

Chase stirs behind him, stretching and she moans softly. She curls up against him again and her breathing goes back into that deep slumber. She’s so peaceful and pretty when she sleeps.

Bucky knows he’s going to have to get Chase to talk about what happened between her and Steve. But he needs to do it in a way that doesn’t push Chase away or alienate her from him. 

He’s also going to talk to Steve in depth when he finally gets back. There has to be a way to get Steve and Chase over this hurdle, to get them past this fight. Steve obviously regrets his behaviour but Chase refuses to talk about it. She’s an angel and Steve knows this -- Bucky is certain of it. And Chase...Bucky has a pretty good feeling that she can be the missing piece in their lives. It’s one thing for him and Steve to have each other for comfort. It’s another thing entirely to feel her touch and experience her warmth. And Bucky will protect her and love her with every fiber of his being and he knows damn well that if given half a chance Steve will, too. 

Chase stirs in her sleep, a soft hum coming from her lips as she stretches again. Bucky nestles deeper into the pillow next to her. He sighs and runs his fingertips lightly over her arm. 

How do they get past this so Bucky doesn’t feel like he has to choose between the two of them? Getting Steve to listen and talk won’t be a problem. Getting this sweet, sassy angel to do the same? Not as easy as it sounds. 

He’s still pondering this as his eyes close and he drifts back to sleep. 

* * *

  
  


Bucky wakes up before Chase like he has everyday this week that he’s spent with her. She’s now on her side with her back to him, curled around one of her pillows. Bucky wishes she was holding him like that. Wrap herself around him, tangle their limbs together and just lie in bed. She’d be soft and warm, barely dressed…

He feels an ache settle in his balls, one that has become all too familiar since he woke up in Wakanda. He hasn’t touched a woman in over seventy years and his dick and balls remind of this constantly. 

He shifts his legs and tries to adjust himself to ease some of the building pressure. His hand on his cock only makes things worse. He stifles a groan as he palms himself through his jogging pants.

No. Not like this. He doesn’t want her to wake up and see him jacking off next to her. He slides from the bed as quietly as he can and slinks to the bathroom. He debates for a moment on taking a cold shower but that’s only going to temporarily disarm the situation. He needs to get rid of this hardon. He yanks his pants down to his hips and wraps his hand around his shaft, using his other hand to tug on his sack. He starts to pump slowly thinking about Chase and the swell and contour of her breasts in those tight shirts she wears. The way her yoga pants hug her ass when she does anything at all. He strokes faster thinking about the softness of her skin and how good it would feel to run his hands over her entire body. He imagines her nipples pebbling under his touch , running his hands over her bare thighs, parting her legs, sinking into her warmth…

He moans quietly as his hips snap and cum spills out over his hand as he tips over the edge. 

He takes a few moments to calm down and then he cleans himself up with haste. It’s not what he really wants but in the interim it will have to do. 

He slinks back to the bedroom and into the bed next to Chase. She’s barely moved, but as soon as he’s close to her she stirs.

“Hmmm...whasamadda Buck?” she mumbles.

“Nothing, sugar, go back to sleep,” he whispers. He slides a little closer to her and brazenly puts his arm over her side. To his surprise she scoots back until she’s up against his body. If ever he was grateful for thinking ahead it’s right now. She’s not being subjected to his rock hard cock at the moment. At least not yet. For right now he’s content to be holding her while she sleeps. She’s been the calm to his storm the past several days and he plans on sticking around. 

* * *

He wakes up a while later to the sound of his phone vibrating. Chase growls and grumbles some incoherent curse and then huffs as he rolls away from her to grab his phone.

“Hang on, sugar,” he tells her as he answers the phone, “it’s Steve. He’s on his way up from the hangar.”

Chase sits up and searches Bucky’s face like she’s looking for an answer to an unasked question. But Bucky knows the question -- will he leave?

“I need to make sure he’s okay. I have to be there for him --”

“I know,” she says with a sad smile. “Go take care of Steve.”

  
  
  
  
  



	6. Steve

Bucky’s been sullen and moody since Steve came home from his last mission. Every attempt Steve has made to get Bucky to tell him what’s going on has been futile as the man just shakes his head or changes the subject. Steve’s getting irritated with this pouty bullshit but he also knows that Bucky is still dealing with shit in his own way on his own terms and there’s only so far Steve can push him to talk about it. So Steve decides to just let it go. 

Another week passes and Bucky has gone from sullen and moody to adding looking guilty as hell. 

“Buck?”

“Stevie.”

Well, that’s the first time Bucky’s called him Stevie in almost three weeks. 

“What’s going on, man?”

Bucky just shakes his head and sits cross-legged on the couch with a laptop he had to buy himself shortly after Steve got home. Steve’s lips twitch. It’s not that Bucky’s been aloof in the affection department, quite the contrary, he seems to want to cuddle the hell out of Steve when they go to bed, locking his left arm over Steve’s abs and holding him tight so Steve has nowhere to go unless Bucky releases him. It’s the nonverbal thing that’s killing Steve right now. Well, that and the fact that all Bucky wants to do is cuddle. They haven’t done anything else since Steve came home. Steve offered to suck Bucky’s dick out of the blue and all he got as a response was a grunt. 

Tonight Steve’s going to try again. 

Bucky comes back to the bedroom and finds Steve leisurely lounging on the bed like a pinup model, completely naked. He smiles seductively at Bucky hoping this will get the other man’s attention. Bucky’s eyes widen and before Steve can blink Bucky has pounced on him. Steve gets ravished all night, the serum in both men burning hot in their veins. By the time the sun comes up, the room smells of sex, sweat, and cum. And much to Steve’s delight, Bucky is holding him and whispering sweet nothings in what Steve assumes is Russian. 

They fall asleep curled up together, holding each other. When they wake up later Bucky is in a much less sullen mood, but Steve can still see that undercurrent of guilt and moodiness just below the surface. 

“Feeling a little better?” Steve teases as he makes them a late day coffee. Bucky skews an eyebrow at him and then grins a little. This makes Steve smile. That lopsided grin has always had a special place in Steve’s heart. Always. 

“Do you?” Bucky asks after a few minutes. “Having me pound that tight ass of yours all night?”

Steve barks out a laugh and puts Bucky’s personal coffee mug down in front of him. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Steve says, being smarmy. Bucky gives him the side eye and grunts, but Steve can see that hint of a smile just on the corners of Bucky’s perfect mouth. 

“Figured you’d at least use the buttplug I bought you.”

Steve had just taken a sip of his coffee and sputters it back into the mug. Bucky is chuckling, and while Steve is glad Bucky found his sense of humor, the coffee is burning a hole in his throat right now. 

“You’re an asshole,” Steve gripes, wiping his mouth. Bucky flat out laughs. 

“I was  _ in _ your asshole,” Bucky retorts. “Blew a few loads in there, too.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve groans, trying not to smirk. “You’re disgusting.”

Again, Bucky just laughs. 

Steve decides not to press the issue. Bucky is in better spirits for the time being and that’s all that matters to him. 

* * *

Steve’s been meaning to ask Bucky if he ever went to see Chase but he hasn’t had the chance. Getting Bucky out of his sullen funk was tricky enough and that’s what Steve had been focused on. Now that they’re on a mission and waiting for the target to move he thinks about asking, and does so.

“Did you ever go see Chase?”

Bucky takes his eyes off whatever he’s been glaring at and looks at Steve. Steve can’t really read his face in the dim light. 

“Yes.”

The answer is slow and careful and Steve’s stomach immediately starts to knot. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You never asked.”

Steve drags his hand down his face and takes a deep breath. 

“What happened?” Steve asks patiently. Bucky laughs nervously and the knots tighten in Steve’s belly. 

“She took care of me. She patched me up. Let me stay with her while you were gone. Ended up with a bitch of a headache and…” he trails off and looks down. 

“Target is moving,” Sam calls over the coms. 

“And?” Steve presses as he and Bucky start to move. 

“She held me. Put a pillow on her lap at first and let me sleep while she played with my hair.”

It’s not just the knots in his stomach now, Steve’s jealousy is starting to boil. 

“She played with your hair.” He tries to keep any emotion out of his voice, tries to stay calm. 

“Yeah,” Bucky says almost dreamily. “When she’d run her nails over my scalp...it’s so stupid that it’s something...it’s soothing.”

They’re almost to the target and Steve is near fuming. 

“So she’s better at taking care of you than I am?” 

Bucky stops dead in his tracks in the middle of the street. 

“You sent me to her, dumbass. Remember?”

“Move,” Steve growls giving Bucky a shove to get him moving again. They get to the target but neither of them can focus now.

“What else happened, Buck?” Steve demands, no longer able to keep the jealousy out of his voice. Shots are fired, people are running around, they’re being attacked, but Steve can’t focus on that.

“Why, Steve? So we can keep arguing?” Bucky demands, firing the automatic rifle at a vehicle heading for them. 

“Because I deserve to know!”

“I slept on top of her and I slept in bed next to her--”

The shield clangs off something he’d thrown it at. More gun fire from the auto rifle. 

“You what?” Steve sounds eerily calm but inside he’s red with rage.

“Nothing happened,” Bucky snaps, whipping the shield back to Steve. Steve catches and grits his teeth. 

“I’m supposed to believe that? Makes sense now why you looked so damn guilty when I got home.”

“What the fuck?!” Bucky roars.

“I could ask you the same fucking thing!” Steve snarls. 

The shield clangs, guns fire, bodies are beaten, and then there’s an explosion and Steve, Bucky, and a handful of their ambushers go plummeting down what feels like ten floors where they land on unforgiving concrete. 

Everyone is slow to move at first. Steve can hear Natasha and Sam barking at them in the coms but he’s ignoring them. Priorities. 

“Nothing happened...my ass,” Steve grunts, pushing himself up. Bucky is on his knees, head down, his long tresses a curtain around his face. 

“It’s gonna be your ass. Nothing happened. I jerked off before anything could,” Bucky snaps, the white hot anger clear in his voice. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Steve demands as the bad guys start to descend on them again. He’s hurting all over, he’s bleeding, and all he’s focused on is the fact that Bucky may or may not have fucked Chase. 

“No, asshole, I am not fucking kidding you. Didn’t you fucking kiss her?” Bucky is basically bludgeoning the bad guys with the butt of the rifle at this point, taking his anger at Steve out on them. Steve’s not doing any better, taking his anger over Bucky’s seeming transgression out with the shield. 

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!” Steve thunders. 

“RUGH!” Bucky yells angrily. “You kissed her, all I did was hold her and now it’s the end of the fucking world?! Who are you jealous of, Rogers? Me or her?” Bucky demands as he sends a handful of thugs flying backwards. 

This makes Steve stop. 

“Steve! STEVE!”

Before Steve knows what’s happening Bucky is on top of him and the building is collapsing around them. 

* * *

  
  


Steve rests his head against the back of the seat in the jet and closes his eyes. He hurts. Physically and emotionally. What’s worse is he knows Bucky hurts just as much as he does. What he doesn’t know is how to make things better. 

Natasha and Sam stayed behind to deal with the aftermath since, as Natasha put it “You two need to get your heads out of each other’s ass.”

Bucky had flipped her off and limped away growling obscenities. Steve had followed shortly after. Now they’re flying home and neither has said a word since boarding the jet. It’s not that Steve doesn’t have anything to say, there’s so much he wants to say, he just doesn’t know how to say it without fucking things up more. 

Bucky had hit a raw nerve when he’d asked who Steve was jealous of. Is it Bucky or is it Chase? And Steve can’t answer one way or the other because the honest answer is…

“I’m jealous of both of you.” He speaks quietly, so quietly he doesn’t think Bucky hears him. 

“Why?” Bucky asks after a few minutes. Steve doesn’t answer. Bucky turns his head to look at Steve and Steve can see the extent of the damage Bucky took shielding him from the falling building. He blindly reaches for Bucky’s hand, tears welling up in his eyes so that he can’t see. Bucky takes his hand and sighs softly. 

“Stevie, nothing happened. She babysat me. Even if I wanted to do something with her...you know I still like the dames.”

“And I don’t?” Steve asks softly. Bucky nods his head. 

“I guess you still do or you wouldn’t have kissed her, huh?”

Steve laughs a little and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“She’s something else,” he muses. Bucky squeezes his hand and Steve sees he’s closed his eyes again. 

“Buck.”

“Stevie.”

“Did she...did she say anything about me?”

Bucky slowly opens his eyes and regards Steve with a patient kind of sadness.

“She didn’t want to talk about what happened. She could have turned me away when I told her you sent me but she didn’t. There may be hope for us yet.”

“Us?” Steve asks, furrowing his brow. 

“Did I stutter?” Bucky mutters tiredly. 

“Jerk.”

“Goddamn punk.” 

Steve stays quiet and lets Bucky rest. One of them has to be at least semi-coherent when they land and Steve figures he owes Bucky that much.

* * *

  
  


They’re both hurt much worse than Steve thought. Or Bucky thought for that matter. 

“Fractured ribs, Barnes has a concussion, possible internal bleeding but since neither of you will sit still and let me do my damn job I can’t tell,” Bruce chides them. Steve, who was holding his pounding head in his hands, looks up at Bruce.

“We. Are. Fine.”

“I can see that,” Bruce retorts. He throws his hands up in exasperation. “Fine. You two think the serum makes you immortal and arguing with either one of you is like arguing with a goddamn boulder. Go. If you get worse you know where to find me.”

Bruce leaves the exam room and Steve and Bucky give each other tired looks. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Bucky groans. He slides off the exam table and hisses in pain. 

“Yeah. Let’s go,” Steve says getting up and feeling the pain settle into his bones and muscles like hot nails. 

They head to the elevators, leaning on each other as they go. Steve hurts so badly and he can tell by the way Bucky is gritting his teeth and whining softly that he’s no better off. He just wants to get them home. He doesn’t know how they’ll tend to each other’s wounds or how they’ll take care of each other, all he cares about is getting home. 

So when the elevator doors open at the lobby and he sees Chase standing there with bags of groceries in each hand he’s beyond words. 

“Oh my fucking god...what happened? Jesus Christ!” She drops the bags on the elevator floor and rushes to them. 

“Hi, sugar,” Bucky mumbles and he tries to smile. Chase caresses his cheek and Steve immediately feels that green ember of jealousy flame back to life. That is until she turns to him. 

“Steve...holy fuck, you two,” she whispers, putting her hand to Steve’s cheek. “What did you two do?”

This makes Bucky laugh and then cry out in pain. 

“We got into a fight,” Steve answers plainly. 

“You two did this...to each other?” Her voice is scolding and she steps back to glare at them. Bucky shakes his head no. 

“No...no…” Steve wants to tell her what happened, tell her he’s sorry, but he can’t speak. The look in her eyes brings him back that day to the memorial at Stark’s place. He feels Bucky’s eyes on him. 

“Bad mission, sugar. We weren’t paying attention and we paid for it,” Bucky tells her. Steve dares to look up and sees those big brown eyes have softened. 

“You both have a thing against medical, don’t you?” She asks. 

“Yes,” Steve answers pitifully. 

“You know I do.”

Steve hears Chase sigh heavily. 

“Where are you going?” She asks. 

“Home,” Bucky answers. Steve’s thankful Bucky can talk to her. He’s ashamed to look at Chase. 

“How the hell are either of you going to take care of each other? You can barely stand up, Steve, and Bucky looks like he’s going to pass out.”

Steve looks over at Bucky and he has to agree that Buck looks like he’s not going to make it to the parking garage much less to their apartment. 

“You gonna take care of us, sugar?” Bucky’s words are a little slurred. Steve knows this is a bad sign. Buck needs his wounds dressed and he needs rest. 

“Are you going to let me without flipping shit on a countertop?” Steve knows that was a direct shot at him. He takes it. He deserves it.

“I can just...leave him here…and…”

The look on Bucky’s face is mirrored by the look on Chase’s face. They both think he’s lost his damn mind. 

“For fuck’s sake,” Chase grumbles. “FRIDAY, take us up to my floor please. Grant access to Captain Rogers and maintain access for Sergeant Barnes.”

“Yes, Miss Darkwell. Please present your hands for scan.”

Steve watches as the bioscan completes and then the elevator starts moving up again. 

“You’re a good girl, sugar. I knew you were.”

“Hush your mouth,” she orders. She’s examining Bucky’s face, checking his eyes and around his neck. Chase is full on nurse mode right now and Steve...Steve is so beyond thankful. 

The elevator comes to a stop and Steve and Bucky nearly topple over. Chase pushes back against them, barely holding her own against their combined weight. 

“Easy, fellas. Come on,” she says as she grabs her groceries with one hand and then drapes Bucky’s free arm over her shoulders so she can help Steve get him down the hall. 

She unlocks the door and helps them inside. Once more the groceries are dropped on the ground and she helps Steve with Bucky, taking them back down the narrow hall. They end up in the bathroom where Chase turns on all the lights and now it looks like they’re staring into the goddamn sun. Steve squints and Bucky shields his eyes. 

“Yeah, yeah, bright light. Come on, gremlins, let’s see how bad it is. Who goes first?” Chase is already putting on gloves and pulling out gauze and stuff for sutures. 

“Do Buck first,” Steve says. Bucky huffs out a laugh and she shoots him a harsh look.

“Put your libido away, Barnes,” she tells him and now Steve laughs. Bucky sticks his tongue out and they help him sit on the toilet seat. Chase points to the tub for Steve to park. He does so without question and watches as she tends to the numerous wounds on Bucky’s torso and back. Buck is not at all shy about showing her his body and she doesn’t seem phased by seeing him shirtless. He’s certain that when she starts stripping him of the rest of his battle gear that there will be a reaction….

But there isn’t. Chase is methodical and concise and...cold. Bucky looks more perplexed by this than Steve is. She finishes up with Bucky and then moves on to Steve. 

She’s just as cold and concise with Steve as she was with Bucky. He keeps glancing over at Bucky to see if this is normal and Bucky just tiredly shakes his head or shrugs his shoulders. 

When Chase is finished, Steve and Bucky are in nothing but their shorts, their clothes piled in a heap on the floor. 

“Showers. Clean yourselves up. Are you guys able to do that? I mean...I have the tub if you think that would be better?”

“Shower’s fine, sugar. You sure we’re okay?” Steve can tell Bucky’s trying to be charming and playful with Chase. He also sees that she’s not buying into it. 

“You both need to rest and rehydrate and pray that there’s nothing outside of what I can see -“

“Fractured ribs and a concussion,” Bucky admits. She shakes her head pitifully. 

“Bruised ribs,” Steve tells her quietly. 

“Guys...medical is the best place for you.”

“You’re medical, Chase,” Bucky argues. “And we’re here. At your insistence. Unless you’ve changed your mind?” There’s a note of uncertainty there that Steve hears and he can see Chase heard it, too. 

“I’d rather you stay here since you don’t want to go to medical. Will you two be okay to shower?”

“Should be,” Steve answers in the same quiet voice. 

“Alright. When you’re done go crash in the bedroom. There will be water in there for you. Bucky knows where the bedroom is. Get some sleep,” she orders as she scoops up their clothes. “Yell if you need anything, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Steve replies. Bucky swings his head and gives Steve a cold look. Steve sees Chase’s lips twitch and then she’s out of the bathroom, pulling the door closed behind her. 

“I need to take a piss,” Bucky grumbles trying to stand up. Steve ends up having to help him stay upright and decides at that point they are taking a shower together. 

“Come on, Buck. Let’s just do this,” Steve says when Buck’s finished. Bucky looks at the door like he’s perplexed. He mumbles something Steve doesn’t catch. 

“Buck?”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

They shower together washing each other off carefully, Steve doing most of the work while Bucky just tries to hold himself up. Steve can see something is bothering Buck, not just the pain and the exhaustion but something else. 

They finish up and as they head to the bedroom Bucky stops and inhales deeply. Steve does the same involuntarily and what he smells makes his head swim. The soft, provocative scent of a woman. 

“She smells like a dream, doesn’t she, Stevie?” Bucky asks as he climbs into the bed like it’s his own. 

“She does,” Steve answers, being more cautious as he gets into the bed. Bucky nestles into the pillows, a big smile on his face that quickly fades away. 

“What?” Steve asks, dropping his head on the pillows. 

“She’s not acting right.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asks, suddenly so very tired that his eyes won’t stay open without a fight. He hears Bucky sigh and it’s so sad sounding that Steve’s eyes open of their own free will.

“She wasn’t like this before, Stevie. She was...she was warm, ya know? Like this sweet, southern angel. She was full of hugs and laughs and just...that’s not my Chase out there.”

“Your Chase?”

“She’s not  _ ours _ yet, punk.”

Steve is silent for a few moments, thinking over what Bucky just said. Ours. He’d mentioned the three of them as  _ us _ before. His brain throws up a reason for Chase’s sudden change in demeanor. 

“Buck...does she know about us?”

Bucky’s eyes fly open and the blue seems bluer than Steve has ever seen before. 

“I never told her.”

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

Steve wakes up and blinks furiously. His eyes feel like they’re swollen. He thinks about that for a second and wonders if they are. He takes the chance and rubs his eyes gently. Sore, but maybe not swollen. He can at least see now. And what he sees brings a sappy smile to his face. Bucky passed out on his stomach, the sheet barely covering his ass. He must have lost the towel or taken it off. 

Did he sleep naked next to Chase? 

Steve feels a pang of jealousy hit him and sighs deeply. He’s jealous that Bucky would find solace in someone other than himself. He’s also jealous that Bucky may have gotten to touch Chase--more than just holding her. Did she see him naked? Did Buck get to see her naked? Oh god that would have been a sight to behold, the two of them naked. Steve is insanely turned on by the idea. He looks over at Bucky again and decides now isn’t a good time to try and coerce him into sex. Bucky looks exhausted and Steve knows he’s going to sleep until the nightmares get to be too much. And right now Bucky looks so goddamn peaceful. 

Steve lays on his side watching Bucky sleep, marveling at the fact that Bucky seems so relaxed here. Anytime they go someplace that isn’t home Buck has a hard time falling asleep. He’s always on high alert and Steve has found him on more than one occasion staring out of a window keeping watch, having done that the entire night. 

Steve also knows that Bucky heals faster when he’s able to sleep. Buck told him once that the reason they threw him into cryo right after a mission was so he could heal faster. The less work they had to do on their  _ asset _ the happier HYDRA was. 

Bucky sighs and buries his face into the pillow. Steve can tell Buck’s enamoured with how the room smells. Steve is, too, if he’s going to be honest. Besides the softness of her lips, the one thing he remembers most about Chase is how nice she smelled. Not overly perfumey or anything, just this soft, enticing scent. 

Chase. 

Steve’s heart sinks. One of the last things Bucky had said to him before he passed out was that she didn’t know about them. Or at least he thought she didn’t because Bucky says he didn’t tell her. Could someone else have clued her in since Bucky left? Bruce? Clint? Wanda? Tony? Does she even talk to any of them, he wonders. Bucky was severely miffed by what he says is a change in her demeanor. The way Buck talked about her, Chase was this beacon of warmth and caring, a far cry from how she reacted to them when she got them into her apartment. But on the elevator...she was worried, Steve is sure of it. And not just about Bucky. She was concerned about him, too. 

He wonders if she’s still mad or upset over what happened. She has every right to be as far as he’s concerned. He lost control and left her crying hysterically. He should have never gone to see her until he was calmed down. He should never have yelled at her. He definitely should never have shown her the brute force he did. He should have made more of an attempt to apologize. 

Bucky won her over, but was it short lived? Can he ride on Bucky’s good graces with her until he’s able to show Chase he’s not a stupid asshole with anger management issues? 

Only one way to find out. 

He slips from the bed, freezing once when Bucky stirs a little and mumbles something in Russian. One of these days he’s going to remember what Bucky mumbles in his sleep and ask him what the hell it means when Buckster wakes up. For right now, though, he’s going to wrap this towel around his waist again and go see if he can talk to Chase. In a towel. This is either a really good idea or a really bad idea.

He heads out of the bedroom and follows the hall till he comes to the living room. 

“Steve?”

There’s still that coldness to her voice and it drowns out that sweet southerness almost completely. 

“Chase...I...umm…”

She gets up from where she was sitting on the couch and tilts her head a little. She’s studying him and when he takes a step towards her he sees her tense up. This isn’t what he wanted. He doesn’t know what he expected but it certainly wasn’t this. 

“I have some clean clothes for you and James.” She says it so plainly. Where has her sweetness gone?

“Thank you,” he says softly because he doesn’t know what else to say. 

“They’re on the couch there. You can pick what you want out. Is he still asleep?”

“Yeah. He’s out like a light. He took the brunt of the fighting,” Steve explains as he comes around the couch and looks at the neatly folded clothes. She has everything mixed together, not that it matters. It’s not like he and Buck haven’t been sharing clothes. He grabs a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of drawers. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles feeling dumb and out of place with her. She nods her head and gives him what he perceives to be a forced smile. It hurts. Goddamn does it hurt. He takes the clothes back down the hall and into the bathroom kicking himself and wishing he’d just stayed in the room with Bucky. Maybe he should go back in there and just wait for Buck to wake up. Maybe that would be best. Chase is still leary of him and he doesn’t know if he can say anything to change that. 

Steve wipes his eyes and then laughs quietly. He’s crying. He decides to just go back in the room with Bucky and leave it at that. He doesn’t want to fight or argue with Chase. They’re still wounded--

A soft knock on the door draws him from his thoughts. He tries to say  _ yeah _ but the words catch in his throat.

“Steve?”

It’s Chase. Why is he scared all of the sudden? Why is he panicking like this? He has Bucky. He knows Bucky loves him as much as he loves Bucky. He just  _ knows _ . Why does he feel like this about Chase, though? What can he do? 

“Steve? Are you okay?”

He didn’t even notice the door opening or the fact that Chase is now cautiously peeking in at him. 

“Yeah,” he squeaks and clears his throat. “Yeah. I’m alright.” It’s a lie. He hurts all over and he just wants to curl up and cry next to the only person who ever really cared about him. 

Chase is studying him again. He sees her lips twitch a little. 

“Mind if I take a look at your wounds?”

He blinks a few times, his ears relaying her words to his brain and his brain not willing to understand them. 

“Steve? Maybe you should sit down…”

“I’m...okay. I’m okay.” Another lie. Can she tell? Does she see right through him? 

“No you’re not.”

Yup. She sees right through him. 

“I am. Just...just tired. I think I’m going to go back to sleep for a while. With Buck. If that’s okay?” 

She flinches a little and he realizes his tone came across as being annoyed. He hangs his head, scared and unsure what to do now. He doesn’t want to make things worse. 

“I’ll leave you alone, Captain Rogers.”

The quietness in her voice is what makes him look up, but by then it’s too late. She’s already closed the door. 

Steve heads back to the bedroom and lays down next to Bucky. 

“Stevie?” Bucky mumbles, opening his eyes slowly. Steve forces a smile and Bucky’s eyes widen immediately. 

“What happened?” Bucky asks. Tears well up in Steve’s eyes. He feels Bucky’s warm hand on his cheek and then running through his hair. This is something new Bucky started doing to soothe him when Steve is upset. Something he picked up from Chase. 

That makes it worse. 

Bucky pulls Steve closer and holds him tight against his chest while Steve breaks down. 

When Steve calms down Bucky reluctantly lets him go. 

“What happened?” Bucky asks again. Steve takes a shaky breath and then tells him what happened. Bucky listens silently and when Steve finishes the short tale Bucky’s brow is furrowed. 

“You two need to talk, Stevie. You need to get this shit out of your systems--”

“She hates me, Buck.”

“She doesn’t. I’m sure of it,” Bucky insists. Bucky closes his eyes and yawns. Steve knows he’s still tired. Hell, Steve is still exhausted and sore. 

“I told her I was going to go back to sleep. Don’t get up yet, Buck. Please.”

Bucky nods and pulls Steve closer.

* * *

Steve opens his eyes and for a moment he doesn’t know where he is and he panics. He sits up in the strange bed and looks around. Slowly it comes back to him. He’s in Chase’s apartment. Bucky is too. Or was. Buck’s not in the bed anymore. 

Steve swallows the lump in his throat and gets out of the bed slowly. His muscles ache so badly that his legs shake a little when he stands up. He makes his way out of the bedroom and slowly down the hall. Just before he gets to the end of the hall he hears Bucky and Chase talking. He stops and listens. 

“He didn’t mean it, sugar. He didn’t…”

“I know.”

Silence. 

“What’s going on, Chase? Why are you...what’s wrong?” Steve can hear how distraught Bucky is right now. 

“Nothing is wrong, Buck.” Her tone is void of any real emotion. Steve thinks that’s worse than the icy tone she had at Tony’s place that day. 

“Don’t lie to me, sugar. I spent a week with you. I saw you be this warm, loveable smartass. What happened?”

More silence. 

“Chase.” Bucky’s voice has that soft, low, velvety quality that normally would make Steve weak in the knees. 

“James--”

“Is it because of Steve and I?”

Steve hears Chase laugh. It’s not a cruel laugh, but it’s not something Steve would call warm either. 

“I know about you and Steve already.”

Silence. Steve’s jaw is hanging open a little. How did she find out? Did she figure it out? Did someone tell her? 

“Someone tell you, sugar?”

“No,” she says calmly. “I figured it out after you left. At first I couldn’t understand why you didn’t make any kind of pass at me or why when we were in bed together…” Nervous laughter from her. 

“Chase…” Bucky falters and Steve knows just by the sound of Bucky’s voice that he’s hit a stumbling block. 

“It’s okay. I guess I thought a little more of myself than I should have. I’m not your type--”

“Says who?” Bucky demands. “Who said you’re not my type? Because Stevie and I are...whatever you want to call it these days? Is that why?”

Steve can hear his heart beating in his ears. Why would Chase think she wasn’t their type? 

“I’m not what you’re into. It’s okay. I got a swelled head and I misread your signals,” she admits. 

“Mis-misread?” Bucky stammers. Steve can hear the frustration in his voice. That’s when he sees Bucky get up and head towards him. Steve shakes his head no, but Bucky’s not coming to get Steve, he’s pacing, something he does when he’s beyond frustrated. 

“Chase, we’re bisexual. You know what that is, right? This isn’t...this isn’t something new that you’re not aware of?” 

“Seriously?” 

Bucky’s question wasn’t condescending but Chase’s response makes it seem like it was. 

“Chase--”

“I know good and damn well what bisexual, pansexual, asexual, transsexual are...I know what they are, James. I’m a goddamn nurse. I’m not oblivious to the sexual preferences of the populace,” she snaps. “Jesus fucking Christ. What do you want from me?”

“I want you to tell me what the fuck happened, Chase!” Bucky fires back. And then in a much calmer voice he says, “Sugar, I just want to know what changed. What happened that you’re not being the way you were for that whole week with me. You’re telling me that it’s nothing to do with Steve and I being what we are, but how can I believe that? How can I believe that’s not what changed things between you and I?”

“There wasn’t anything between you and I, James. Steve sent you here for me to babysit you while he was gone.”

Steve can’t believe his ears. 

“No, Chase,” Steve says, stepping into the living room, “I sent him to you because I knew you would care enough to help him. Because I trust you. Because I know I made a mistake and I could not be more sorry about what I did.”

He sees Chase look from Bucky to him and back to Bucky, then she shakes her head. 

“No good deed, right?” she mutters. 

“Chase, stop. Please, sugar, stop,” Bucky pleads. 

“Chase...I am genuinely sorry about how I acted that day. There was no excuse for how I treated you. There still is no excuse. And for you to step up after that and help Buck...Nothing I say now is going to get across how thankful I am for you and how much I wish I could take back what happened…” Steve stops talking and wipes his eyes. 

“You and I bonded, sugar. And you and Steve had a spark or he wouldn’t have kissed you. Right?” Bucky asks. Chase shakes her head and bites her lip like she’s trying to hide her emotions. Steve wants to go to her, hug her, and then grab Bucky and make him hug her, too. 

“Why did you kiss me, Steve?”

Steve’s a little taken back by the question and how quiet she is when she asks. 

“Because I wanted to,” he answers honestly. He’s not sure why she would ask that. Why else do you kiss someone?

“What happened between you and James on the mission?”

Steve’s lips pucker and he looks over at Bucky who looks like he’s just been slapped. How the hell does he answer this question? How the hell do either of them answer this question without potentially making things worse now?

He sees her looking at them waiting for an answer. Steve decides that he’s going to be honest and hope for the best.

“Chase...Buck told me how you took care of him. When he told me that you were...playing with his hair…” Steve rubs the back of his neck trying to figure out how to not make this sound as petty and stupid as it does. 

“He got jealous.”

“Because I played with your hair?” she asks incredulously.

“He thought you were taking better care of me than he has or can,” Bucky answers. 

“I was upset that I didn’t get that treatment. That I didn’t know that Buck liked that kind of thing. That...goddammit...I was pissed and jealous that the two of you had what I wanted for us, Chase. I didn’t kiss you for the hell of it. I kissed you because I like you. A lot. You’re beautiful. And hearing how warm and soft and caring you are just...I wanted that. With you and with Buck.”

Steve takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. That admission was hard and yet such a relief to say it out loud. 

He glances over at Bucky who gives him a sweetly approving smile. He looks over at Chase and his heart stops. She’s just shaking her head, not looking at either of them. 

“Chase? Sugar, please say something,” Bucky begs. 

“Chase?” Steve approaches her cautiously. The time for being scared is over. It’s do or die now. He’s liked this girl for years. Bucky likes her. He’s going to lay his cards on the table now and see what happens.

“Why the hell did you two fight over me?” she asks suddenly, just as Steve is within arm’s length of her. 

“We yelled at each other. We weren’t paying attention and the floor collapsed with us on it,” Steve explains. 

“Then the goddamn building fell on us,” Bucky adds. 

“It wasn’t until we were on our way home that I realized I was being a damned idiot. And that I was jealous of both of you.”

He sees Chase look up, tears streaming down her face. 

“What?” She’s perplexed. 

“He admitted he’s an idiot,” Bucky says with that shit eating grin of his. Chase ignores him, looking at Steve for the answer. 

“I’m jealous of you both,” Steve answers, knowing that’s what Chase is referring to. “I want to share what you two have been sharing.”

More tears. Steve sees Bucky moving towards Chase now. Neither of them wants to see her cry, but Steve especially because this is the second time he’s been the reason behind her tears. 

“I don’t know what you two want from me. I really don’t,” she says through her tears. “I offered to help you out, I offered to take care of you--”

“We want you to, sugar. We want you to do that. But like how you did for that week I was here. Not like this. Not closed off. You’re beautiful, Chase, inside and out. We want to share that with each other...with you,” Bucky says gently.

“You don’t have to be alone. We’ll be here for you,” Steve promises, laying his hand over his heart. Chase laughs cynically. 

“Stop. Just stop. Both of you. I don’t know which one of you thought this would be a great joke but it’s not. It’s cruel. Take your belongings and get out.”

“Chase!” 

“Wait a damn minute, Chase!” Bucky snaps angrily. “You can’t honestly--”

“Out. Now.” 

She points to the door and Steve can see the tremor in her hand. 

“Chase--”

“Buck, stop. Let’s just go.” Steve shakes his head at Bucky stopping him from saying anything further. He grabs what few things they had brought over and head to the door. Bucky is muttering curses in English and Russian. Steve looks back at Chase just before he closes the door. She sticks to her guns, pointing once more to the door even as tears well in her pretty eyes. 

Steve pulls the door shut and walks away with Bucky. He feels like he’s in a fog, his head is hazy. 

He doesn’t remember the elevator ride down or the car ride home. The last thing Steve remembers is hugging Bucky tightly and apologizing for fucking things up. 


	8. 8

A week after Chase kicked them out she’s still arguing with herself over what happened. Was she right? Was she wrong? What the hell could the two of them want with her anyway? Aren’t they a happy couple? Bucky says they’re bi. 

“Hmph,” she grunts out loud. “They’re probably just looking for a threesome.” But in the back of her mind she knows that’s not true. 

* * *

Two weeks later it’s still gnawing at her. Did she make a mistake? Would a threesome have been so bad? With them? Hands all over her, their thick cocks inside of her? And their lips...oh god how she has imagined the places those lips could travel over her body. 

She decides it’s just hormones. She’s suffering from the onslaught of having a uterus again and it’s driving her insane. 

* * *

Three weeks later Bruce comes to visit. 

The knock at the door makes Chase scramble to answer it, hoping on some wild level that it’s Bucky or Steve. It’s neither and she doesn’t mask her disappointment.

“Sorry. Is this a bad time?” Bruce asks. 

“No,” Chase mutters and beckons him inside.

“Not the person you wanted to see, I take it,” Bruce states as he walks in and looks around. “When was the last time you did anything?”

Chase looks around the apartment and realizes she’s been living in a pigsty. Fast food containers litter the living room, clothes are all over the place. When was the last time she took a shower?

“You’re depressed. That much is obvious,” Bruce continues. “You need to get out of this apartment for a while. You’re going stir crazy.”

Chase laughs pathetically. 

“Clinically depressed and agoraphobic. Swell.”

“You can talk to me, Chase. Either as a doctor or as a friend. Tell me what’s going on. I want to help.”

“It’s nothing you can help with--”

“You don’t know that unless you talk to me.”

Chase sighs heavily. 

“Do I get doctor/patient confidentiality?” 

Bruce smiles and Chase shakes her head no.

“Never mind--” she starts to say, thinking Bruce is just fucking with her.

“No. No, don’t bottle it up. You do get that privilege. Of course you would. Even as your friend what you say to me doesn’t go any further than this room.”

Chase studies him for a moment. 

“You swear?”

“Cross my heart.”

* * *

Chase sits quietly on the couch watching Bruce mull over what she’s just told him. He’s got his thinking face on. She’s not sure if she likes that or not. 

“I know Steve blew up at you a few years ago. I know you two have been at odds ever since. Bucky is a new thing...I kind of guessed he and Steve were...you know...but they’re pretty secretive about their personal lives. He sent Bucky to you to take care of him--”

“Babysit,” Chase corrects. Bruce gives her a stern look and shakes his head no.

“No. That’s not what that was. And I think you know that, too. I don’t think this is a threesome thing with them, not like you’re thinking. Bucky pleading with you, Steve apologizing profusely...they’re trying to make amends. I mean Steve is and Bucky is trying to help.”

Chase rolls her eyes and folds her arms over her chest. 

“Listen to me. You’re so goddamn stubborn. Just like someone in their 40’s,” he sighs. He sits back and scratches his chin. 

“Beyond just the sexual aspects of what’s going on here -- if there are any -- what if they just want you to be their friend?”

Chase puckers her lips and furrows her brow. She hadn’t really thought about it that way. 

“Why?” she asks carefully. “They can pick and choose from the rest of the Avengers.”

“You’re not an Avenger.”

“What the hell does that mean?” she demands.

“It means you’re open to seeing things differently. You’re not hardened to the world the way the rest of the team is. It means -- like Bucky told you -- that you have a softness to you the other team members don’t. It’s why you’re a damn good nurse, Chase. It’s why they chose you.”

Chase moves her mouth to try and argue with Bruce but she has nothing to say. She bites her lip and shakes her head.

“You need to get out of here. Go get cleaned up and we’ll go out for lunch. It stinks in here.”

The sheer bluntness of Bruce’s statement makes Chase laugh. He smiles approvingly. 

“Go. Just be quick about it.”

Chase does as she’s ordered to and comes back out to the living room twenty minutes later freshly showered and in what she assumes are clean clothes. To her surprise Bruce has started bagging up all the trash while she was cleaning up.

“Bruce, stop. I’ll take care of it when we get back.” She’s more than just ashamed at the way things have been she’s horrified. This place is a wreck. 

“You’re not going to go back into that pit, are you?” he asks, stuffing another handful of trash in a bag.

“No. I’ll try not to.”

“It’s all I can ask. For now.” He ties off the bag and goes to the kitchen to wash his hands. “Ready?” he asks when he’s done.

“Yeah,” Chase replies. She’s hesitant suddenly. The confines of the apartment have been her safe space. Filthy as it is, it’s still hers and it’s...it’s….

“That’s the depression talking. Don’t give in. You need to get out, Chase. If you can’t handle being outside after giving it a try we’ll come back in. Not here, but…”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” she reluctantly agrees. Bruce smiles and leads her to the door. 

“It’s going to be fine.You’ll see.”

She hopes he’s right.

* * *

Bruce has kept her outside for almost three hours. The sun is warm as they sit outside a little coffee shop eating the most delicious danish and sipping coffee. Everytime the door opens to the little coffee shop a blast of sweet air comes wafting out making it even sweeter. This is nice. This is...this is great.

“Not so bad now is it?” he teases lightly. He takes another sip of his coffee and smiles. It’s a smile of someone who won a bet. Jerk.

“No. It’s not bad. This is a nice little shop.”

“How are you feeling?”

She thinks about this for a few moments. How is she feeling? The sun feels good on her face, the coffee is warm and the danish delectable. 

“Outside? I’m okay. Inside? I don’t know. I think I’m a mess. I think I let this shit get to me and turned a mountain into a volcano.”

Bruce nods his head mulling over her statement.

“I wouldn’t go that far, but yes, I think it’s been blown out of proportion. On all sides. Not just yours.”

“What should I do?”

“About what?” he asks, closing his eyes as he sips his coffee again. This must be one of the rare times Bruce gets to relax a little. Chase feels bad that he’s got to play psychiatrist to her instead of being able to actually relax. 

“About them. Steve and Bucky.”

“Nothing. You have to heal yourself first.”

Chase hangs her head and looks at the danish in front of her. That’s not really the answer she wanted, but it’s the right answer nonetheless. 

“Not what you wanted to hear, is it?” he asks. “You’re smart. You know I’m right.”

“I know. I get it. I just…” she laughs uneasily. “Where the hell do I start?”

Bruce puts the coffee mug down and folds his hands on the table. 

“Come back to work. Part time at first,” he says quickly before Chase can contest. “Part time. Just to get you moving again. You don’t want to see patients? I’ve got paperwork out the wazoo I need help sorting. Keep your mind engaged, Chase. Go from there.”

* * *

Chase sits at Bruce’s desk looking at the literal mounds of paperwork. Mounds. Like the guy never does paperwork. Aren’t they totally paperless in here anyway? 

“What the hell, Bruce?” she mutters. May as well get started.

Bruce was right about keeping her mind engaged. It’s been almost two months since their little chat and while Chase still struggles some days it’s getting easier. A little bit at a time. 

“What the fuck is this even?” Chase asks no one as she looks at some of the paperwork. Diagrams, diagnostics, field tests, a printout from a dot matrix printer that’s about a thousand sheets long…

She sits back in the chair unsure now where to start. Going out and telling him she’s going to do nursing stuff is starting to sound like a  _ really _ good idea. Except for one thing. Two, actually. And they aren’t things. They’re people. The only two people that have fucked with her head more than landing in this reality she’s occupying currently. She’s afraid to face them. The thought makes her stomach knot and her heart race. Her head swims and she has to find someplace secluded and quiet to try and calm herself. Bruce found her in the corner of his office just sitting there with her head down and her knees pulled up to her chest. That was a bad day. She doesn’t like those days. 

Bruce meanders in a few minutes later, totally involved in whatever is on the iPad he’s currently holding. 

“Bruce.”

“Hmmm?” He’s acknowledging he knows she’s there but he’s not listening or paying attention.

“Bruce, I would stop before you walk into a wall.”

He looks up suddenly and smiles. 

“I know my parameters. How’s that coming along?” he questions, nodding his head toward the mess she’s been left with.

“What the flying fuck is all this?” she asks, picking up some pages from one of the other mounds. More diagrams, more printouts, something that looks like a blueprint…

“Stuff from my old labs. I wasn’t really...I didn’t have access to computers and such like I do now.” 

Chase nods her head slowly. That explains that. 

“Where do you want me to put this and how do you want me to sort it?” she asks before he can go back to being distracted by the iPad. 

“Date. I put a date on everything. That’ll be easiest I think.”

“Date,” she repeats and watches as he goes back to being totally invested in the iPad. 

“That must be one hell of a Candy Crush level you’re on.”

“Hmm?”

“Wow. Don’t walk into any walls, Bruce.”

“Never do. Filing cabinets have folders. Do your best. I bought you lunch. You’re eating a salad because your cholesterol is through the roof.”

“This is what I get for letting you run labs on me.”

“Doctor’s orders. Make sure you eat the mixed greens.” 

He walks back out, still staring at the iPad. Amazing. Chase is sure she’d have tripped over her own feet or plowed into a wall or something if she did that. 

“Date,” she says looking at the mounds of papers. “Let’s do this.”

* * *

Chase is sitting amidst a stack of papers in front of the filing cabinets. She’s found it’s easier to sit on the floor (more room) and just sort from there. She’s been at this project for at least a month now and it’s finally starting to show some progress. Bruce told her to be proud of herself for getting through as much as she has without breaking. 

That being said she hasn’t seen Bruce since the alarms sounded that they had incoming wounded. It’s not the first time she’s heard those alarms. And each time she’s heard them she’s given herself a panic attack. What if it’s them? What if they’re hurt? What if…

She refuses to feed into that last question. It’s a long, dark road and she doesn’t want to go down it again. 

Chase gets up and stretches listening to her bones pop and crack because she’s been sitting too long in one position. She closes her eyes for a moment and cracks her neck. She can feel panic starting to seep in. And where there’s panic, depression follows close behind. This is a different kind of panic. The kind where you just  _ know _ something is wrong. 

“Relax. Breathe. Relax…” she whispers to herself. 

“Chase.”

She yelps and jumps at the sound of Bruce’s voice. She didn’t hear the door open…

She looks at him and she knows her panic was for a good reason.

“I want you to sit down,” Bruce says slowly, closing the door behind him. No. No, no, no, no...this isn’t happening…

She sits down, her whole body trembling. 

Bruce inhales deeply and exhales slowly. This is killing her. She can feel her heartbeat in her temples. 

“There was...there was an incident,” he says, keeping that same slow tone. He holds up his hand when Chase opens her mouth to start asking questions. “There was an explosion. A big one. We lost contact with both Steve and Bucky--”

Chase gasps, the pain in her chest increasing tenfold as tears spill from her eyes. This cannot be happening…

“They found them just a few minutes ago. They’re barely holding on. Bucky stopped breathing…”

“Oh god...oh god no…” The room swirls in darkening shades of gray.

“Chase! Chase! Listen to me.” 

Bruce is in front of her now, gripping her arms tightly. He gives her a shake and Chase opens her eyes. 

“They have them stabilized for the moment. I just...I wanted you to know. Just in case…”

“Bruce…”

Commotion in the hallway. Another nurse throws open the door and yells that Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are here. 

Bruce is already heading towards the door. 

Chase follows him. She has to see…

Doors crash open and Chase sees the first stretcher being run into medical wing. It’s Steve. He’s pushed past her so fast she wasn’t able to see anything but those barely open baby blues. They rush Bucky past her next, bandages flying from the edges of the stretcher. 

Something inside Chase flips a switch. She’s a goddamn nurse and she needs to act like it. She runs after the stretchers to where Bruce is already working on Steve. He looks at her for a only a moment. 

“Glove up or get out.”

“Gloving up, Dr. Banner.”

He looks up at her again and nods his head. 

It’s time to get to work.


	9. Chapter 9

Steve tries to open his eyes but it hurts so bad that he can’t. Everything hurts. No. Hurt is too light of a word. Excruciating, nauseating pain is what he’s feeling all over. Head to toe. It’s even painful to think. He lets the pain take over and blackness surrounds him.

The next time Steve wakes up he forces himself to open his eyes. Tears well in the corners of his eyes as he tries to look around. He’s in medical, that much he’s aware of. 

Bucky.

He freezes up completely, the pain forgotten as he tries to look for Bucky. He should be here. Where the hell is he? 

He makes himself sit up setting alarms off on everything. He doesn’t care. Bucky is his only priority. 

A nurse rushes in and tries to calm him, but he needs to know where Bucky is. He can’t find his voice to tell them, all he can do is gasp as she tries to push him back down into a lying position. 

He rasps harder at the nurse, batting her hands away as he tries to sit up more. 

“Stop. He wants to sit up.”

Steve recognizes the voice immediately. Chase. She’ll know where Bucky is, right? She has to. Even if she hates him, Steve knows she doesn’t hate Bucky. Who could?

“He needs his rest.” The other nurse is very crass with Chase. That’s when Chase comes into view. She looks very pissed off. 

“And I said let him sit up. He’s not a psych ward patient. He’s Captain Rogers--”

“I am fully aware of who this man is,” the other nurse snaps. “And who are you to be ordering me around?”

“The one person you don’t want to fuck with right now.”

The tone of Chase’s voice makes the color drain from the other nurse’s face. It even chilled Steve to the point he got goosebumps. 

“I’m going to get the doctor,” the other nurse huffs. She storms past Chase and out of the room.

“Vile witch,” Chase grumbles. She helps Steve sit up being extra gentle with him. 

“Better?” she asks. He nods his head. She brushes his hair back and looks at him patiently.

“What woke you up?”

He tries again to say Bucky but he can’t. Her eyes are fixed on his lips, she’s reading what he’s saying.

“Bucky? He’s here. He’s safe. He’s still in critical condition so Bruce is monitoring him almost constantly. He’s alive, Steve. He’s alive and we’re doing all we can to take care of you both.”

It sounds like a solemn promise. She’s going to make sure Bucky will be okay. She did it in the past. 

Chase starts going over the many things on his arms and then silencing the alarms. Bruce walks in and smiles.

“Welcome back,” he says gently. “How are you feeling?”

Steve tries to answer but again his voice isn’t anywhere to be found. 

“His voice is gone,” Chase answers, silencing the last machine. “Maybe the tube?”

“Probably,” Bruce answers, “you’ll be able to talk in a little while. How are you feeling otherwise? Are you in pain?”

He nods his head slowly. Chase comes to his side and places her hand on his cheek. Her hands are soft and warm. He looks into her eyes and sees sadness.

“He’s worried about Bucky.”

She looks away and towards Bruce. Steve wants her to focus on him. 

“Bucky...is still critical. He’s almost out of the woods but not quite. He’s alive, Steve.”

“I want to see him.” It comes out as a whisper but It’s loud enough that they hear him.

“What?” Bruce asks and looks at Chase. 

“He wants to see him. I told you not to separate them,” Chase admonishes. 

“And I told you not to harass my nurse staff,” Bruce counters. “We didn’t have a choice, Steve. The severity of your wounds and his...we had to have all hands on deck and there wasn’t enough room for the staff if you were together,” Bruce explains. Steve doesn’t like it. He doesn’t care if there was room or not. He wants to see Bucky. He tries to move more in an attempt to get out of the bed. 

“Stop. You need your rest--” Bruce begins to say, but he’s cut off by a knock on the door. The door opens and the nurse from before pops her head in.

“We need you in Sergeant Barnes’ room.”

“I’ll be there in a moment.” Bruce looks at Chase and says, “Give him some morphine for the pain and get him to drink something.” He leaves after giving the directions. 

Chase sits on the edge of the bed and takes Steve’s hand. He wants to see Bucky. He  _ needs _ to. 

“Hey, look at me,” she says softly. Steve turns his attention to Chase. She smiles and once more brushes his hair back.

“He is safe, Steve. I’m not bullshitting you. I worked with Bruce on both of you, getting you both stabilized. I fought with him over moving you out of Buck’s room, but you can see I lost.”

Steve shakes his head.

“I’m going to fight with Bruce until the two of you are back together. But you have to be patient. Give me time to wear Bruce down and to make sure Bucky is out of the woods completely. Will you do that for me?” Her voice is soft and gentle and warm and he finds himself nodding in compliance with her request. 

“Try and rest, Steve. I know you hurt. The best thing you can do is sleep.”

He closes his eyes again and opens then slowly. Chase runs her fingers along his jaw. 

“Get some rest,” she says again. Steve reaches for her hand and mouths the word stay. The last thing he wants is to be alone. 

“Stay?” 

He nods his head. 

“Alright, sweetheart.”

He closes his eyes again. 

* * *

Steve feels like he’s been asleep for days. He opens his eyes and groans. 

“Shhh....”

He sees Chase with a weary smile on her pretty lips. She nods her head and Steve carefully turns his head. 

Bucky.

He starts flailing around the bed trying to sit up to get a better look at Buck. Chase presses her hand to his chest to still him. 

“He’s asleep. He’s going to be fine,” she whispers. 

“Really?” he asks, his voice coming out in a hoarse whisper. 

“Yes. We moved you in here with him a few hours ago. You were so out of it you didn’t wake up.” Her voice is soft and soothing. He strains to look at Bucky again. He’s pretty banged up still. Bandages covering half of his face. The explosion hit Buck the hardest because Bucky had thrown Steve out of the area. 

“Will he be okay?” Steve whispers. Chase smiles and nods her head. 

“He’s stable. He’s healing a little slowly but that’s because of the extent of his injuries. You both need your rest. You’re still hurt pretty bad, Steve…”

He looks at her and furrows his brow. She really sounds concerned. 

“Chase...I’m sorry...about...about everything,” he says softly. He feels the heat on his cheeks and he looks away from her. “I would never hurt you.”

He feels her fingers tug on his chin, pulling him to make eye contact with her. 

“No more of this bullshit, Steve. I don’t want to fight with you. I don’t want to fight with Bucky. I just…” she trails off and sighs heavily. Steve forces his arms to move and reaches for her hand. 

“Friends?” he asks hoping that they can get beyond this finally. She smiles brightly. 

“Friends. Get some rest.”

Steve squeezes her hand and closes his eyes. 

* * *

  
  


“Hey. Hey, punk. Wake up.”

Steve knows the sound of that voice but he’s so tired he can’t bring himself to open his eyes or even acknowledge them.

“Punk!” 

Steve groans and forces his eyes open. He looks to his left and sees Bucky propped up on his elbow staring at him.

“Hi.” Bucky’s being a fucking smartass and Steve feels a sense of relief wash over him. 

“You woke me up to say hi?” Steve asks, feigning aggravation. 

“Yeah. I did. Call it revenge for every morning you’ve woken me up for stupid shit.”

Steve sits up and glares at Bucky, which only makes him laugh at Steve.

“What stupid shit?” Steve demands. Bucky is holding his side as he laughs, his face changing from humor to pain and back again. 

“Keep laughing, asshole,” Steve grumbles. “Serves you right.”

“How the fuck does it serve me right?” Bucky growls. 

“What kind of stupid heroic shit were you trying to pull?” Steve counters. Bucky’s eyes widen and he forces himself to sit up. Steve can see he’s struggling through the pain to do so. His heart aches for Bucky. 

“Listen here you little shit--”

“I’m about two inches taller than you, jerk.”

“Motherfu--I’m going to kick your ass when we get out of here.’

“Whatever,” Steve laughs. “Hero,” he taunts. Bucky’s eyes burn with fire. Steve knows he’s pressing all of Bucky’s buttons right now and Buck’s going to make him pay for it, but Steve doesn’t care. He’s elated that Bucky is awake and in a fighting mood. 

“You’re gonna get  _ whatever _ when we get out of here,” Bucky promises. 

“I can’t wait.” 

Bucky studies him for a moment, narrowing his eyes. 

“I know you’re not high. Nothing in here will affect you like that. Did somebody give you laughing gas? Or do you really have a death wish?”

This makes Steve laugh so hard he starts to cough. His lungs burn and his sides scream in pain. 

“Uh huh. Fucking punk. Slow your breathing,” Bucky tells him. His tone has changed from menacing to motherly. Steve hates when Bucky takes that tone with him. Steve slows his breathing, not because Bucky told him to but because he has to in order to make the pain stop. 

“Karma,” Bucky whispers devilishly. Steve flips him off and Bucky laughs a little. 

“Where’s Chase?” Steve asks looking around the room finally. 

“Chase?” Bucky seems shocked by Steve’s question. “Did you see her? Was she here?”

“She was when I woke up the last two times--”

“How is she? Is she okay? Is she still mad?” Bucky is firing off the questions in rapid succession, eager to hear Steve’s answer. 

Steve looks around the room again trying to figure out where Chase could hide if she was in here. 

“I guess she’s okay, Buck. She talked to me, told Bruce that he shouldn’t have separated us--”

“We were separated? Why?”

“Bruce claimed it was because of the extent of your injuries they needed all the space for the medical staff. Chase was pretty adamant that they put us back together again.”

“Did she seem mad or upset or anything, Stevie? Was she okay?”

“She was worried. Definitely worried--”

“She wasn’t just worried,” Bruce interjects walking into the room. “She was right there with me helping me get you two stabilized. She’s been going back and forth between your rooms until she got pissed off and started moving Steve into your room, Buck.”

Bucky laughs. 

“She told you not to separate us,” Steve reminds Bruce. Bruce rolls his eyes. 

“Where is she now?” Bucky asks. 

“I sent her to her room to get some sleep. She’s been awake since the two of you came in. That was almost a week ago. She’s been worried sick about you two. I had to give her Ativan and some valium to get her to calm down a little.”

“Poor angel,” Bucky mumbles. Steve sees Bucky’s brow furrow and then he sighs. He misses Chase. 

“I promise you once she wakes up she’ll be back down here again. She’s only been gone for maybe an hour. Enough about Chase though. How are you two feeling?”


End file.
